|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Anger
Contributed by
Les4567
on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 07:03:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Consuming your every nerve
It ropes you in
Your heart beats
Faster...Faster
Your palms become sweaty
Your eyes glow red
All the blood and frustration
Rushing to your head
You want to yell and scream
But are unable
To even speak
Your delicate behavior
Turns vicious
Its grasp is tight
Trying to calm down
With all your might
With clenched fists
You grind your teeth
The anger has shot you
Hunted you down
Now having taken its toll
This feeling has total control
Copyright ©
Les4567
... [
2005-03-21 19:03:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Anger
(User Rating: 1 )
by TUNE on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 07:25:13 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| keep writing ya poems up in this website u know how to write and i liked this it was nice ~1~ Tun3 |
|
|
Re: Anger
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 07:31:35 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hmn. I'm not sure about the rhymes, as they're half in, half out of the structure, and sort of sit in limbo, for me. However, it does have some nice themes regarding mindless rage - the hunting and the shooting, I can relate to, as well as the clenching fists and grinding teeth. Those are necessary inclusions for any effective description of manic fury.
Perhaps if it didn't rhyme so sporadically, the rhythm wouldn't distract me from absorbing the meaning of your words. As for the ending, i'd write it as;
"Now you have paid its toll,
and you are lost within its mist"
Just a suggestion.
Keep writing and commenting, Leslie. |
|
|
Re: Anger
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 11:00:17 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| since i am angry all of the time, this one really spoke to me. maybe for the ending you could have. and you are no more, or your reason is no more. something like that. but anyway. this was lovely, made me angry just reading it. i loved the tone especially. |
|
|
Re: Anger
(User Rating: 1 )
by SeptChill on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 11:07:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
With Clench fists
You grind your teeth....
Hmmmm.....
Let no man or woman cross your path
Less you release the beast within
For it' has taken control
Consuming your soul
Kind of dark :) I liked the poem |
|
|
Re: Anger
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Tuesday, 22nd March 2005 @ 12:35:49 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
THE ANGER HAS FOUND YOU
AND TAKING YOU DOWN, NOW
THE REEPER IS LAUGHING AS
YOU ROT, IN THE GROUND . . .
DORIAN CHAMBERS |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
