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Slipping Away
Contributed by
Jacquelynne
on
Wednesday, 18th December 2002 @ 08:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I shiver violently
cold, so cold, but yet
the sun is shining on me
evil thoughts linger in my head
as I begin to cry
and wanna die
but life's fingers grasp me instead
a dark cloud shadows the sun
and I fear my inner torture
has just begun
blackness is everywhere
no light; just black
"Help! I'm so scared" I yell in vain-
for my cry is muffled by my pain
What was that?
A sudden bright light?
Or has my mind taken fight?
the light is back, and growing stronger
as my giant cloak of darkness is lifted
You've brightened my days
with your love for me
I cry as I see
you've always been here
for me
You saw me slipping away
and our precious love has come to save
Now I'm grateful for life's tight grip
now I just want to love
as long as I'm with you
But, if we ever should break
please know that I'll still live
and keep living
You've gave me hope,
planted it deep within my soul
Our love is precious and lovely
a love like ours can never be ugly
But, for now
please, just hold me
Copyright ©
Jacquelynne
... [
2002-12-18 20:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Devlina on
Wednesday, 18th December 2002 @ 09:38:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love the way that it contrasts back and forth from the wide range of emotions. It holds so true to real love's emotion when your confused, and your struggling for strength. |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sonibe on
Thursday, 19th December 2002 @ 01:16:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| ....go little sis! This is so beautiful, if I had the ability....I'd feel a tear go down my eye....keep up the good work, little sis.... |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on
Thursday, 19th December 2002 @ 09:13:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is beautifully written and so full of emotion and deep love...most people never find love like this in their lifetime...thanks for sharing this one i enjoyed it alot...
.:*~*:.OreO.:*~*:. |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by wordsy on
Thursday, 9th January 2003 @ 10:49:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A well worded weaving filled with raw emotion.
A very good read,
wordsy |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by x_Severian_x on
Sunday, 2nd February 2003 @ 01:49:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Love your work. That was the best poem I have read in a long time. Your rhythm is excellent and the message is strong. You should consider going professional if you aren't already. |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Feelin_Like_A_SadFellow on
Tuesday, 18th February 2003 @ 10:42:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| great variety of emotions pulled together by such words ... expressing the double edged feeling of love |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 4th April 2003 @ 12:40:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| jacquelynne is an excellent poet, I have read her work and she should definitely go professional if she isn't already. |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXIronSharpensIronXx on
Sunday, 20th April 2003 @ 01:23:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| It's a shame you're not a fan of my poetry, because I really enjoy yours. Don't worry about it, though, and thanks for being honest. |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Poet on
Monday, 15th September 2003 @ 12:19:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is WOW !!! Jus what I feel at times.. Great Write.. Keep em coming |
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Re: Slipping Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Solmyr1404 on
Tuesday, 6th January 2004 @ 10:16:30 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I relly liked your poem. It makes a lot of sense to me. |
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