|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
soda
Contributed by
electrique_poet
on
Sunday, 20th March 2005 @ 01:46:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
reach
amonst the ice
water buries a
soda
grab; hook; pop
off the cap
quench the unquenchable
thirst
before you
reach; again
Copyright ©
electrique_poet
... [
2005-03-20 01:46:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: soda
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 12:37:38 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i think its odd how the poem is kind of symbolic to to the concept. i was reaching for more substance in it, but even more of it might not be satisfying. i think illustration and presentation of your concept needs to be worked on a bit more. seems so fragmented and short to clearly illustrate it. the style needs work too. |
|
|
Re: soda
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Saturday, 26th March 2005 @ 07:53:46 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I don't agree with essentially 9.
I like this style. It is very....."illustrative" in that it shows what you are trying to say. You don't really have to explain it, you just show it. I like how it is short. Also I like your point, that it seems like there is never enough, and so we reach for more. But I think that, this is a battle that we face in life. It is a battle where we are never satisfied, and we always feel like we need more......This is the essence of the materialisitic culture we live in. I think it is very wise to learn to be content, with WHAT IS, and then, when we are not reaching for more, we will enjoy what is here. I think, when we learn to live in this way, we really start to notice the simple things in life, like the smell of spring, or the way the rain feels, or what it feels like to sit at the ocean, listening to the rythmic patterns that seem to go off into.....infinity because it never stops. There are a lot of things to notice and appreciate, once you actually stop to notice them, and not reach for more.
Be True,
zenmind
Be True,
zenmind |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
