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change within me
Contributed by
PhantomVampyress
on
Saturday, 19th March 2005 @ 10:40:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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The pain within shall grow consuming
what is left inside of me
I let it fill me up
until I get enough
nothing in me will
ever be the same
from all the events
I have changed
I laughed in the darkness
as I walked right out of your life
Stood in the corridors of crimson
just staring blankely
as you begged and pleaded for me to
love you again
I got a grin on my face
and walked as far away from you
as I could
you cried bloody tears on the floor
I just no longer Care
JENNI
Copyright ©
PhantomVampyress
... [
2005-03-19 22:40:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: change within me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 19th March 2005 @ 10:52:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| jenni, this was excellent to say the least. i loved the ending. so original, its so original even that ive never read one like it. and ive read a lot of endings. an ending can make a masterpiece or destroy one, and your ending has made one. but to the rest of your piece =] every stanza had its good points about, from wording or to the concept, or both. substance is what i like, and i like how you word yours. =] |
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Re: change within me
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 03:13:32 PM AEST
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"nothing in me will
ever be the same
from all the events
I have changed"
I like this stanza... it just emphasizes that that's how you become who you are... events... that change you...
This poem is kind of harsh, but... not quite... it is rather interesting though.
Lots of love and peace,
Chelsea |
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Re: change within me
(User Rating: 1 )
by tx_graffiti_gal on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 04:19:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You sure made up your mind... great write . |
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Re: change within me
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Wednesday, 13th April 2005 @ 11:14:58 PM AEST
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| this is quite a picture of moving on, vividly painted. good work jenni |
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Re: change within me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 09:20:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great imagery and powerfully written. Wonderful job done here, Jenni. Thank you for sharing :)
Tim |
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