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The End Of The World
Contributed by
ForeverAndADay
on
Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 06:37:36 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The End Of The World...
Will come with some day...
Perhaps tommarow in disquise as any ordinary day...
Perhaps with fire, buring cinders within our eye's...
Devouring our world, our souls, and lives.
Perhaps in ice, mirroring this worlds useless bickering...
Chilling our hearts...
Heartless towards our suffering...
Perhaps it will end...like any other day.
There will be a flood, greater then the first...
A clean up job, getting rid of the filth...
Finally emptying the earth, with no hope of revival...
Survival or worth...
Cold and bitter in it's arrival...
Or in darkness and silence, so we cannot see our persuer or hear our screams...
Like the darkness in the crawspaces in our minds...
Our greatest fears...
And our most horrible dreams...
The end of the world may come in any of these ways...
But in the end...
It will probably start...like any other day.
Copyright ©
ForeverAndADay
... [
2005-03-18 06:37:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The End Of The World
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 06:44:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Yes...The End Of The World Will Come....
we are in the final era....
nice write.....ForeverAnd A Day...thanks for submitting...
cheers!~ |
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Re: The End Of The World
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 08:05:12 AM AEST
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Your last line proves poignant, enough that I'll drop in and try and offer my opinion on the rest of the poem.
Personally, I think one of the best descriptions of the end of the world found itself in T.S. Eliot's 'The Hollow Men.'
"This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper"
It reminds me of your poem, to a large extent, in its cynical, realistic perspective of apocalypse. It would do you well to correct the spelling errors in the poem, and ease away from the 'accidental' rhyming--better synonyms may be out there that don't quite echo as much of the common cliche.
In tems of style, the torrent of ellipses rather dampens what effect it might have originally had, so I'd suggest you use them more sparingly, unless the entire poem is supposed to look like some excerpt for court procedures or a damaged casette tape.
Yeah, nice work. |
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Re: The End Of The World
(User Rating: 1 )
by RavenShadows on
Saturday, 19th March 2005 @ 01:13:53 AM AEST
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| Intense. Great write. Keep up the good job and keep on writing. |
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