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Crazy Doctor
Contributed by
Rhino33
on
Wednesday, 16th March 2005 @ 07:22:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Crazy Doctor
*************
Doctor: “Mr. Bützin, my name is Doctor. In your mind. I am here to help you work through the problems of the last 24 hours. Do you remember anything about them?”
Erik Bützin: “No sir, I'm sorry but I don't why I am here. And then again where is here?”
Doctor: “Now just relax you are in no danger you are safe there was an accident and I'm here to help you work thru it, Okay?”
Erik: “Um I guess what accident?”
Doctor: “All will be answered; I will attempt to hypnotize you so that you can relive the actual event. If at any time I feel you are endangering your self or me for that matter I will snap you out of it, understand. “
Erik: “Well okay.”
Doctor: “Let us begin; try to relax as I count to ten, back then forth as you follow my pen. Now remember back to your house and what you felt on approaching then walk me thru the events that followed.”
Erik: “Hollow feeling, the silence is what's killing…
Alone until home, my sanctuary our throne…
Foundation built by two hearts and four hands…
The holy union of one women and one man…
The cold breeze from the cold world…
Never passed our doors…
Never blew dust on our floors…
We were of one body and one soul…
My heart has lead me wrong but with her…
I never once felt strung along…
it was a common treaty…
Doctor: “Mr. Bützin, please focus on that day,
As you entered your home”
“I slid the key into the lock…
Turned the knob and started to say hello…
I heard something hit the wall, first soft then hard…
Then what I thought was a faint moan turned into a grunt then a groan…
I put my bags in the hall then I crept along…
Never once thinking my girl did me wrong…
The sounds got louder, the pounding, the hollers…
The moans and the grunts…
I reached the door and eased it open…
The adrenaline starts flowing…
My heart starts pounding…
My mind processes my surroundings…
Cause now no one will get out!!!
I close the door just as easy…
No logic, instinct, silent as I creep…
I watch and listen…
Not completely certain of my intentions…
I stop listening and watch there motions…
I see an opening and attack...
Doctor: “Wait Mr. Bützin, calm down take a moment to breath.
Breath in and then out breath in and then out.
Okay now continue.”
Erik: “As I move in for the attack I see his face…
I hear her moan I see nails dig in his back…
I hear her "oh my God I love it all"…
I snatch him by the neck; slam him against the wall...
Then I threw him in the closet and locked the door…
I turn and face my wife balled up in fear for her life…
No knife, no gun, bare handed one on one…
I have nothing left to lose; choice is not one I have to choose…
I come close and she runs…
It’s the adrenaline I won't be out done…
I go for her throat but move to fast…
My body hits hers and she goes face first into the night stand…
There's banging at the closet…
I turn to focus on it, I unlock the door and stand to the side…
I open it just enough, he rushes I slam it shut…
knock him off balance I pounce with malice…
we fight but its over soon, blood fills our little bit of room…
door knob in hand I see on his face the puncture wounds…
I hear that oh so familiar moan…
I turn and approach it…”
Doctor: “Mr. Bützin, did she say anything to you?”
Erik: “I think I heard a whisper,
My focus can't be hindered
Death will be delivered…
Set free from the bodies of sinners…”
Doctor: “Mr. Bützin, I want you to wake up at the count of three,
1…2…3…
Erik: “Huh?
What, what happen where am I?”
Doctor: “You can take him away; I have enough information to classify him insane”
Erik Bützin
Copyright ©
Rhino33
... [
2005-03-16 19:22:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Crazy Doctor
(User Rating: 1 )
by JJMcBride on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 09:40:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| I like your basic idea - the doctor and the patient recalling - but you need more structure. What I mean is: be more specifc. |
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