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Phase Out
Contributed by
kyletycz
on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 03:54:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
My image is wanning, fainting
Slowly slipping from your memory
If I walked by you tomarow
Would you even remember me?
We once were friends
Once it was us all
But now we dont talk
Or even return calls
Im not going to argue
I wont give you the spiel
Dont point that finger at me
Im not your schlemiel
Im tired of trying
Trying to be your friend
We were supposed to be together
Untill the very end
But you have long since left
Left me here all alone
You wont even chat with me
You wont answer your phone
So Im tired of trying
Trying, to get you back
Im tired of lying
Lying, to myself that you're coming back
So if you change your mind
If you want me get back on track
Why dont you just call
And actually show some tact
But I seem to be vanishing
Disapearing from your mind
But it doesnt seem to bother you
You dont even seem to mind
Copyright ©
kyletycz
... [
2005-03-15 15:54:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Phase Out
(User Rating: 1 )
by b_rand on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 04:02:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I really love the first stanza. I don't know why but it flows so well and it's extremely effective. Job well done! |
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Re: Phase Out
(User Rating: 1 )
by high_on_duct_tape on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 04:17:33 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i agree. the first stanzza is great. in the other ones i think u tried a bit to hard to rhyme, and it hid the meaning. good write, tho. |
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Re: Phase Out
(User Rating: 1 )
by Live2Die on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 04:21:29 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I agree with b_rand and duct tape. I like the first stanza, and the others are good, but you tried so hard to rhyme, the meaning is hard to find. |
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