|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Nature
Contributed by
Wesley_Dale_Willis
on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 08:06:07 AM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
Distant thunderclouds
Rumbling with streaks of lightning
Turning lose twisters.
Copyright ©
Wesley_Dale_Willis
... [
2005-03-15 08:06:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Nature
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 08:41:05 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oooh, I like this.
I'm not sure though, but I think the second line may be 8 instead of 7.
I don't know. lol. I say rumbling weird, with 3 syllables rum-bl-ing
(Lol. Maybe that's just me) Thought I'd let you know.
Great write though,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
|
|
Re: Nature
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 08:46:53 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A very traditional haiku.
It is rather difficult to compress so much into 17 syllables.
All praise –in that regard.
You have expressed a great deal (of imagery, eloquence and meaning) within the structure of a haiku.
I enjoyed the personification of the lightning…. “Rumbling”
And the choice of word “streak” –is rather fitting!
The only thing that confused me was the way you expressed “lose”
Did you mean “loose”?
Sorry if I misinterpreted!
Thank you for sharing a great haiku.
|
|
|
Re: Nature
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 09:49:59 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hmm.. i think the 2nd line has 8 syllables too. Anyways i liked it it's really simple and you got the message across.
Jane |
|
|
Re: Nature
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wesley_Dale_Willis on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 01:52:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Yes I meant loose instead of lose. I looked up lightning in the dictionary it is 2 syllible, now lightening is 3. Thanks Wes... |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
