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Whim of thoughts
Contributed by
naveen
on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 07:15:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Been lonely for a year
Am lonely, relenquished no one near
Running after false dreams
Am wasted, looking those elusive future's reflections
In life's perpetual streams
My life totally bizzare
Its me and my false apprehensions
Those gloomy imaginations and dreams to stare
Don't know I be at top
But my life now is a boring squib, a big flop
With no cheers
Juss fears
Fears of loosing it out
Loosing it out in
Blind Mad ratrace to know where
I am totally consumed
My mind, my soul tottally fumed
Fumed by thoughts of doing somethin
But my presents in rocks, its only a dark sere nothin
Sometimes when looking my shadow
I always laughs at
Laughs At the way
it Still moving a vivid hay
After vanquished by life's cruel strays
Wanna know my schedules,
Its follows no biological rules
Its tottaly churned in daily moil
am in groans off that burning turmoil
A stroll to earn a name,
Running to pull my life a fame
Once you trounced my life
With your sharp edgy knives
Trying forget
But How can I
Those wounds are still raw
With my heart ebued in agony's and wrath
These wounds now in my essence
My heart dead, no feelings.
No thoughts off life's presence
But someday, strikes a silver lining
My life's be renewed with precating rhymes
I will give my life away
To form a new way
Way to my life's pinaacle
Way to my ascent
Copyright ©
naveen
... [
2005-03-15 07:15:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Whim of thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wesley_Dale_Willis on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 08:28:38 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Sounds like depression, hope you snap out of it. Keep writing maybe that will do the trick. Regards Wes... |
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Re: Whim of thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 08:46:18 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is good..
I would change a couple of thinsg if it were mine, though.
The pieces that stat: 'Am lonely', and 'Am wasted' I would put 'now' after easch of them I just think it would fill it out more.
You lose this a little toward the end I think, but it is still very good.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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