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DEAR MY MIND
Contributed by
cursed_witch
on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 08:33:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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Dear my mind,
I counted on you
But you let me down
Tonight I feel tired
Tired of being your slave
Dear my mind,
Is it not enough?
What do you still want?
Tonight I decided
Decided I want out
Dear my mind,
Stop whispering, stop
This time I will lead
Tonight you must be killed
Killed so I can have peace
Dear my mind,
It is time to end
With this gun i shoot
Tonight I will be free
Free of your long-lived reign
Copyright ©
cursed_witch
... [
2005-03-13 20:33:47] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: DEAR MY MIND
(User Rating: 1 ) by sweet_lil_b2003 on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 09:06:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I loved your poem..i like the way you write.. plz continue postin your poems so i can read them and give you comments..you seeem reli amazing i bet your an amazing person~~Crystal~~ |
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Re: DEAR MY MIND
(User Rating: 1 ) by allforyou on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 09:29:25 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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"Dear my mind,
I counted on you
But you let me down
Tonight I feel tired
Tired of being your slave"
That's real deep. You write your feelings so....poetically--I guess that's why this is called a poem...but this is different than anything I've read lately. Most of the stuff isn't real poetry, but this is. This write made my speechless and that takes a whole lot of talent. Keep it up.
--Kara |
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Re: DEAR MY MIND
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 10:10:20 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is really good. I love the repitition and the last stanza, but more the last 2 lines
"Tonight i will be free, Free of your long lived reign"
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Re: DEAR MY MIND
(User Rating: 1 ) by venkat on
Monday, 14th March 2005 @ 04:00:56 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very good poem..please continue...you have talent :-) venkat |
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Re: DEAR MY MIND
(User Rating: 1 ) by saphfyre on
Saturday, 25th November 2006 @ 05:57:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I love the pattern on this one... same first lines... the repeating of tonight, and the last line starting with the last word of the next to last line. A little thing, that makes a lot of difference in a poem. Its so deep and silent..... or wanting the silence.... to just want it all to stop. and yes, you DO have a way with endings... Its a great one. |
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