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I Dream of You and the Stars
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 04:31:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Can one find happiness amidst these feelings?
Or do they only lead to pain and confusion?
I search for the beauty
And instead only clutch ashes
I gaze upon you and can scarce breathe
What was in that moment when our eyes first met?
How can two souls feel the same?
I try to find the bad in you,
But come up with only good things
And that means far more than your beauty
Can you crack these barriers I have erected?
Can I let someone inside my heart?
I ask these impossible questions
As I gaze upon the stars
Even though covered in clouds
The brightest ones shine through
They shine as you do, they shine
Amidst this night I ponder questions,
But no answers are readily apparent
Except for two things
My feelings for you
And that you shine as bright as the stars
Even when the grey tries to smother
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2005-03-12 16:31:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 04:36:17 PM AEST
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| Boy, have I ever been there. You really captured your emotions here and gave the reader a sense of what it feels like to feel this way. Great write |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 04:51:21 PM AEST
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loving, heartfelt and beautiful... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by whispered_cries on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 05:01:56 PM AEST
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i like this poem..great write
laura |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 10:42:27 PM AEST
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"As I gaze upon the stars
Even though covered in clouds
The brightest ones shine through
They shine as you do, they shine
Amidst this night I ponder questions,
But no answers are readily apparent
Except for two things
My feelings for you
And that you shine as bright as the stars
Even when the grey tries to smother"
That's exquisite. That feeling when you see someone and you perceive them as some kind of radiant creature or entity. ~sigh~
Aww, Joel... this --when combined with your latest poem-- is so heartbreaking. Sounds like you've fallen fast and furious for this one. I wish the best for you and your love life. A girl should feel honored to have these poems written about her. (I know I'm always flattered when my beau... or any guy for that matter... writes something for me.)
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 11:46:17 PM AEST
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Oh Joel..this was an amazing write.. Your feelings show thru beautifully here...
And...if you don't let someone into your heart, you'll never know......
All the best to you.....
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 12:14:34 AM AEST
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Oh yes.... those feeling hurt... I love the line:
"I search for the beauty/And clutch only ashes"... it's stunning. Well done.
Em |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 07:36:29 AM AEST
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Is this the one you showed me yesterday??
Cause you know how i loved that one and son as this.
This was really good 2 amazing poems in 1 day is an outstanding achivement and im glad i got to see this write.
Hugs,
Janey |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 02:38:18 PM AEST
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This is good Joel, I don't have a whole lot to say other than it was good.
The ending was my favorite: how you said that: "you shine as bright
as the stars even when the gray tries to smother"... that was awesome.
~Waos/Kara |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 09:26:41 PM AEST
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I agree with all the others, this is a fantastic write.
Very vivid and deep. You've portrayed your message to the reader well, and given us a sense of your thoughts...
Great write!
~kt |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 19th March 2005 @ 11:46:26 PM AEST
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| well these are my first thoughts....brilliant, amazing, outstanding, wonderful, fantastic, one of the best poems ever written, one of best poems ive enjoyed, a masterpiece, a work or art........::rambles on:: |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Soulless on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 03:11:45 PM AEST
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Very captivating. Sorry it took me soo long to post comments to your wonderful poetry. Ive been a bit preoccupied with other things lately.
This poem really caught me. I think it has a different feel from it than your other pieces. I love it. |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 07:29:15 PM AEST
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You shine brilliantly in every endeavor. Bo, you just don't see it, but everyone else does.
You have a way of reaching into the heart and finding tears that lie dormant. You make people feel from the words you magically weave.
Now before I fall beneath your poetry spell. I had best remove myself.
Never stop writing, I mean that!
Kie |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on
Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 05:16:51 PM AEST
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| joel, this is just, stunning. this and the poem before...well, god...you never told me about this girl. she sounds like she's worth it...does she know how you feel? darling if she's everything your words describe, she must be beautiful. let her in...i know it's a lot safer to keep your heart to yourself...but if you don't tell her, you'll never know xxx |
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Re: I Dream of You and the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Saturday, 7th January 2006 @ 09:43:58 PM AEST
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| This was very very good, it made me think and put things into perspective. Don't let the grey dull your light,keep writing through it, for your work is amazing. |
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