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Who am I?

Contributed by FleurdeSang on Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 10:39:09 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



If I look inside myself,
What will I find?
Do I actually know who I am,
What my purpose is,
Why I do what I do,
Or say what I say?


Manipulated since birth,
The Master made me who I am,
But I know that’s not who I’m going to be…
So, I take a look within,
And there is nothing…
All I see is darkness,
The littlest spark of hope that is left,
And a sigh of closure… all is extinguished…

Who am I?
Why am I here?
So many unanswered questions,
Drowning in a sea of despair,
This weight of self-hate is unbearable,
And I fall once more…

No hands to pick me up,
Only to push me back down,
Back to the tainted soil from whence I came…
Nothing more than a worthless slave,
To my own depression…

Yearning for another way other than death,
The eternal tempter…
A selfish end to my existence,
A stupid escape,
And yet, who would care…

Who am I, and what am I doing here?
I have no purpose.
A silent poet with useless words…
I deserve no praise, no love,
For I am lifeless within,
A corpse with a mask of deception…

I’ve come so close to death,
Felt his cold touch,
Yet, never his fatal kiss…


I turn to the mirror, in search of an answer,
But all it does is laugh,
A dusty image that states it’s me…

Bleeding my ebony emotions on paper through pen,
Rather than my own crimson legacy,
Through these weary veins…
The blade mocks in its silence,
Longing for the taste of my bittersweet flesh once more…

So long ago, the last time I heeded its cries,
I feel myself slipping…slowly… into its perilous grasp…


Who am I?
I know the answer now,
It’s been there all along…

I am No One…




Copyright © FleurdeSang ... [ 2005-03-11 22:39:09]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Who am I? (User Rating: 1 )
by disturbed_silence on Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 11:02:05 PM AEST
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1st: great poem
2nd:You ARE someone, i believe there's a reason for everything...even if you haven't found it yet. you were born for a reason, your alive for a reason, you live for that reason only ,your job is to find it...maybe your reason is to write great poetry and inspire others......................................at least you have inspired me.


Re: Who am I? (User Rating: 1 )
by Jane_Doe on Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 12:17:23 AM AEST
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AMAZING write. One of the best I've read even. I love it. You may feel like no one, but at least you're not alone. Oh sure, nobody can feel the same exact pain that you're feeling, but they may feel pain at the same level. I'm not gonna say 'keep things positive' or something like that, but I do hope that you feel better soon.


Re: Who am I? (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 08:28:11 AM AEST
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Hun, I am agreeing with others here, you are someone, you are a friend, a great poet, a good person. You are you. No more, no less. I know the questions are unanswered, but they are for all of us.
I won't lie, I'm not sure we ever find out who we truly are, but never forget you are a person who is special to someone, and to many.

This is a fantastic write sweetie, and I relate so very much. I know the feeling. If you need me, I'm just a PM away.

Keep writing,
*hugs* Phil xxx


Re: Who am I? (User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 10:03:53 AM AEST
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You are someone very special.
Whatever he made you feel..this is not you.
You are the beauty that you create yourself. Your thoughts belong to you, and I know you can change them in to positive ones.
A talented poetess who has so much love in her heart.
Words flow like honey with a softness that is always visible.
Steph you will overcome this darkness and find self worth.
My arms hold you close.
Life is so precious never give up on you

(((MASSIVE HUGS))))

Love Sweetangelukxxxx


Re: Who am I? (User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 12:30:50 PM AEST
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Excellent expression of feeling lost and worthless. We are all here for a reason (although, I too, wonder why at times) You write beartifully and have merit here. Peace to you.
Thumps ; o)


Re: Who am I? (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 04:26:14 PM AEST
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wow such a heartfelt and searching poem I
loved it. Although I disagree with the line that
says you are a silent poet with simple words.
You are one of the best poets on this site.
You write with such feeling that most can only
dream about. I loved this, but you should give
yourself credit where credit is due.

Bobo (Joel)


Re: Who am I? (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Monday, 14th March 2005 @ 05:05:03 PM AEST
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Powerful and moving this most certainly is. When it truly comes down to it, I think we're all empty deep down, or almost so. Many of us never fall all the way through the shallower parts of our being to discover the emptiness beneath it. But mayhap it's a good thing to know what it looks like in the dark.

I believe that when we reach the bottom of ourselves, if we yearn for and desire light, we will be given it. But Light isn't an easy thing to want with one's whole heart, and it requires change. There's no better thing, though.

Sorry for the ramble. I hope things go well for you. And I appreciate and commend your knowledge that self-abuse and suicide are not to be desired. Blessings.

Andrew


Re: Who am I? (User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on Saturday, 26th March 2005 @ 06:24:18 PM AEST
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No Stephy ~

Hope burns eternal ... you may cast a shroud over it ... but it will never be extinguished.
You are NOT no one .... you are the Floridian Flower that speaks throgh words beyond her years ... emotions that belie your age and a true sense of passion ...

In MY book ... you are indeed someone ... and I don't plan to ever let you forget that.

Nazmythian ~




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