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Face Within The Mirror....
Contributed by
mina-1
on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 03:51:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
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I look in the mirror
An unhappy image I see
A deep black heart
Unable to be free
The face is deeply hidden
It's beauty forever ridden
For the past rears it's ugly head
The face in the mirror is charred and
dead
A cry for help is let out
I need help without a doubt
To heal this wounded heart
My life is falling apart
You used me, abused me
You left me baring the shame
Life I know
Will never be the same
I loved you, I let you
I fell pregnant
Then you said good bye
Virgin blood bled
Then you tossed me aside
You see when I look in the mirror
That charred and dead face I see
Is really only the reflection
Of battered and abused me......
Copyright ©
mina-1
... [
2005-03-10 15:51:35] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rhymingron on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 04:26:35 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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So sad, but well said. |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by eden on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 05:59:22 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i know this actually happened to a friend of yours and i feel kind of weird about suggesting a change since it comes from the heart but i thought it would be kind of interesting if you changed all the me's and I's to hers, know what I mean. Expet for the last one so that its at first like youre talking about someone else, but then it turns out to be you?
you can just ignore this though, so long as you're happy with it. |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 08:50:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Well written....sad and deep......
Jenni |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by jmpy84 on
Thursday, 10th March 2005 @ 11:38:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is a sad one hope all is well |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 11:03:43 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This just broke my heart. Gosh, it was so sad.
May your friend heal and mend internally and externally.
And may one day soon the face in the mirror have a smiling reflection.
You did an awesome job portraying emotion and image in this poem of yours.
Kie |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by loveisendless on
Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 01:01:07 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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WOW,YOU AREN'T ONLY A GREAT WRITER BUT ALSO A GREAT FRIEND! HOW YOU'RE ABLE TO READ THAT PERSON THAT WELL IS AMAZING!! EXCELLENT WRITE!!!
DAN!!!! |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by Spazzo on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 01:12:00 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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So sad but a great poem. I hope your friend is doing better.
Scott |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 14th March 2005 @ 06:07:03 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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If I keep reading your pieces, I think I am sincerely going to be needing some tissues.
That was SO emotionally draining and I could sympathetically feel vicariously through this piece, emotions so raw my heart almost broke.
Your flow was beautiful, almost resembling the dance of a tear...flowing slowly, staining the audience with its content.
This piece is sadly beautiful. |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 10:19:01 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is heartwrenching, and hearbreaking, and all those words I keep using. lol.
Seriously though, this is so sad.. I really hope your friend recovers.
Thankyou for sharing once again, hun.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: Face Within The Mirror....
(User Rating: 1 ) by AmyLee4Ever on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 03:27:44 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great poem, but I see right in the middle of the poem you switched to couplets rhymes.
To heal this wounded heart
My life is falling apart
That seems to break the flow of the poem. Other than that, the poem was fantastic...
Jodi |
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