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Internal Warmth
Contributed by
b_rand
on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 01:50:03 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I enter the bathroom, the light already on.
I`ve been in and out ten times so far, pacing.
I reach for the hot water and let it run.
The tub fills slowly, steam rising from the water.
Hot water because I will feel so cold...
I already feel cold... People have been frigid to me.
Finally, I close the door and lock it behind me.
I undress and enter the tub slowly.
I sit back and relax, contemplating my next move.
A razor rests on the sink next to me, taunting me.
I know if I cut myself, my body will go cold as the blood leaves.
But I`m already freezing.
I also know that as the blood flows, it will take the pain with it.
I will be free of this agony, this torture.
And while my body becomes cold, the blood is warm, and will blanket me.
I will be free of pain and encased in a mixture of hot water and warm blood.
It is heaven compared with this hellhole that is my life.
So why not? What fear keeps me around?
I lift the razor and stare at it respectfully.
It alone has the power to free me from this frigid place of torture.
FLASH! There she is! Kissing him! That b-tch!
FLASH! Now she`s laughing! She finds my misery hilarious.
How could she? Who could be so cold?
So frigid...
RED!
EVERYWHERE!
Have I cut myself without even realizing it?
Should I call for help? Can I even be helped? Do I have any reason to?
Of course, I could stay alive to keep others happy.
That helps. Right?
But time is running short.
And I`m not even panicked.
In fact, I`m more relaxed now.
The cold is dissipating.
The ceiling above grows distant.
The wounds are deep into my wrists, but I don`t even notice.
I`m curing myself from the inside...
And it`s amazing... So soothing...
It`s beautiful. I feel ecstatic.
I haven`t felt this way in a long, long time.
And I don`t want it to end yet.
Not yet.
If only I could hang onto this moment for just a little bit longer.
If only I could have more time.
Wait a minute...
I`m not ready to go yet...
I don`t want to leave now...
If only someone was around to save me...
Maybe if I yell...
Please, somebody!
I want just one more chance! Just a little more time!
But nothing...
And I`m weak...
And there`s nothing I can do...
Please...
Somebody...
Help me...
Copyright ©
b_rand
... [
2005-03-09 01:50:03] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Internal Warmth
(User Rating: 1 ) by HorizonGirl on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 02:58:08 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very deep !
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Re: Internal Warmth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Xxluckie_lynnxX on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 10:21:03 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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good job !! i liked this poem a WHOLE lot .. it sounds like many people when they realized what they have done and what to go back and erase their actions .. very deep too .. lol anyway - Great Poem !! |
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Re: Internal Warmth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Anti_social on
Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 02:21:01 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I felt exactly like that when I found out my BF cheated on me w/ 6 other girls. I read the thigs that I felt, You have great peotry skills, hope to see more from u soon>
~J.J. (Jessi) |
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Re: Internal Warmth
(User Rating: 1 ) by CrippinBabi513 on
Wednesday, 23rd March 2005 @ 03:16:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow....powerful~ |
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