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Hope's Masquerade
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 06:22:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
In a place where only sadness dwells
Where the dead die alone
And prayers are a distant memory
Happiness remembered by the unlucky few
Screams sail soundlessly
As coldness chills to the bone
Hope is swiftly sucked away
Crying on your soiled bed
Aching to be alone,
But surrounded by broken humanity
And the wails that envelope you
Driven slowly to madness
You weep until it aches
As you turn into those
You previously cursed
You sit in your darkened room
Clouded with pain and fear
The pain eats away at your sanity
The fear at your resolve,
But hope mends the frayed edges
Even as the voices grow louder
The tears fall ever swifter
As you dance with insanity
The coldness thrusts deeper and deeper
Into your heart as you turn into a ruined shadow
The "only" choice screams to be heard
Amidst the madness
You are the only guest at your funeral
As you die alone, the way you wanted it,
They found once you silenced your weeping
(Forever... or so they thought)
Traded one horror for a worse horror
Your false hopes clutched to your chest
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2005-03-07 18:22:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hope's Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 06:35:57 PM AEST
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Powerful piece. Methinks much of our powerful writing comes in the early hours of morning.
This illustrates very well the whole league of false hopes, false lives and such. May we not see such days.
Andrew |
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Re: Hope's Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by karmen on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 06:43:03 PM AEST
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i like this alot... its a almost powerful write if you read it and understand. I have a poem kinda of like it... but urs is much better lol... good writing
--karmen |
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Re: Hope's Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 8th March 2005 @ 01:32:10 AM AEST
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Very sad but well said.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Hope's Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 12:56:21 AM AEST
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"You are the only guest at your funeral
As you die alone, the way you wanted it"..
Great masquerade..Sad and brilliant..:-) venkat
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Re: Hope's Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 01:45:27 AM AEST
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Ughh this is so typical im late again * Sighs *
Anyways, I really liked this Joel you’ve outdone yourself with this great write. It’s emotively done and the somber feeling of it just gives it more brilliance to the whole presentation of the poem.
Although there’s something I saw that might need a little word, I might be wrong so do correct me if I am.
In a place where only sadness dwells
Where the dead die alone
I thought that you could have put “dies” rather that “die” which will make more sense although I may be wrong so do correct me if I am.
Jane
(Who feels weird for giving an advise)
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Re: Hope's Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 07:40:25 PM AEST
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Wow Joel - you did an amazing job on that. The images that I got in
my mind, and the powerful way you ended it - just amazing. This is
definitely one of my favorites of what you've written. Awesome job!
~Waos/Kara |
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Re: Hope's Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 09:29:17 PM AEST
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| powerful and splindid ending. i was going to say that this wasnt one of your best pieces, but your ending certainly changed that. just reinforces my thoughts that and ending can make a masterpiece or destroy one. |
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Re: Hope's Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Friday, 11th March 2005 @ 08:33:05 PM AEST
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What I got from this is as follows:
The first part of it describes everything I feel when I'm in my deepest depressions.
The middle (about hope mending and such) is what I go through when I'm thinking about leaving this world... because then I'd be with God.
The ending is what would happen if I would committ suicide because of the line, "Forever...or so they thought"
See, because suicide is a sin and then I'd be cast into hell, thus, "Traded one horror for a worse horror" and the line "Your false hopes clutched to your chest" is me realizing, "Hey... I'm going to go to Hell for this... and then I'll have to repeat all of that stuff from my depression forever."
That's just how I relate but... I'm in awe of the way you've turned those feelings into a poem. Who knows, maybe that's not what you meant to say at all, but that's my interpretation and it's lead me to the conclusion that you, Joel, are a brilliant artist.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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