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amusement parks on fire
Contributed by
summers
on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 01:10:03 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
‘lately the sky seems lackluster at best,’ i say, lighting a cigarette.
‘the sky is whatever color you paint it.’
and you swore the cigarettes would kill me,
and i swore you were probably right.
but on that night in 1999,
one of two things was probably going to happen.
either i was going to break up with you...or you were going to break up with me...
or
3.) both of us would make the same move at the same time, canceling each other out...
resulting in an ongoing relationship no one wanted.
so, how did it all end up?
well, i remember those few cigarettes on the hood of my car.
and talking over a built to spill record...
(whether or not they ‘sold out’)
and we saw a shooting star...
and i know it’s cliché, but i made a wish.
i don’t remember what exactly i wished for...
anything but world peace.
and you turned to me and whispered in my ear,
‘it’s over’
and i nodded as i took the final drag on the cigarette.
‘i know...i’ve known...’
and she got down off the hood of my car with a frustrated sigh.
it was that easy.
and as she began to walk away, i called after her.
‘have a cigarette, you’ll live longer.’
and she crawled back on the hood of my car and we smoked like two amusement parks on fire.
Copyright ©
summers
... [
2005-03-03 01:10:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: amusement parks on fire
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 04:08:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Imaginative, as ever.
Keep writing, summers. |
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Re: amusement parks on fire
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 06:11:19 AM AEST
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What an amazing write, your imagery use was fantastic. I do agree with the whole cigarettes thing though.
Anyways this was really good i enjoyed it a lot.
Jane ^_^ |
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Re: amusement parks on fire
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 06:31:15 AM AEST
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| wow... amazing... well done... |
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Re: amusement parks on fire
(User Rating: 1 )
by Scarlett on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 11:16:06 AM AEST
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| was, imaginitive at the very least. i will certainl keep my eye out of future stuff of yours, that had me rapt from beginning to end. |
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Re: amusement parks on fire
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 02:19:42 PM AEST
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I thought this was great - but i was confused when the you in this piece turned to she. I assume it was the same person...
THis was vivid. |
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Re: amusement parks on fire
(User Rating: 1 )
by summers on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 05:02:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| the first part is said to the person its about...the second part is said to the person reading |
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