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Stayed on You
Contributed by
waos
on
Tuesday, 1st March 2005 @ 07:22:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
Clouds trace a path untravelled,
but by streams of golden glass.
Eyelids heavy with the memory of sleep,
thoughts slowed by whispering remnants of dream,
and I admit my mind is stayed on you.
I want to...
dance in the light of the sunrise,
fly through the clouds on a magic carpet,
and rest before a fire on a cold night,
...even if it's cliche...
as long as it's with you, it's right.
Moonlight shadows guide the ghost of past
and stars shine the tales of the ancient.
Uncomprehending you stagger drunkenly
as I gaze at the sky in wonder.
Even so, I'll admit, I dream of you.
Dreams of...
your hand holding my bleeding wrist,
your voice rising against my enemies,
your arms wrapped tightly round me.
I dream...
just of you, can't you see?
~Waos - JCPO
Copyright ©
waos
... [
2005-03-01 19:22:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Stayed on You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 1st March 2005 @ 07:29:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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These words are sweet and well chosed.
Thanks for writing |
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Re: Stayed on You
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Tuesday, 1st March 2005 @ 08:19:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| fine piece indeed! i think you started off amazingly great, giving your reader such a strong impact in just the begining with the way you worded your poem. golden glass? beautiful but deadly. love it, great poem |
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Re: Stayed on You
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 09:31:03 AM AEST
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This was really simple to read (not that theres anything wrong with that) this was really writen well and i liked it.
Jane^_^ |
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Re: Stayed on You
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 08:02:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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such a good poem Kara especially the first
stanza it blew me away with the beautiful
imagery that you painted. The last stanza was
amazing as well with the hope... which is
always good to see/read. Kudos on a great
poem.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Stayed on You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 10:17:22 PM AEST
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| brilliant, kara. im very impressed. |
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Re: Stayed on You
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 01:34:53 AM AEST
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It's a masterpeice.
Shows much wisdom in your writing voice.
I see nothing wrong with it either.
luv, huggs,
emy
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