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i loved you
Contributed by
purplestary
on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 07:04:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
i can't say the words
and it's eating me alive
but it was your wish
it's what you needed of me
so i bite my tounge for you
each and every day
you could never understand
i'm going utterly insane
all because of words
that you've begged me not to say
it's killing me slowly
soon i'll be gone
and i'm sure that you won't care.
you talk of her
how she makes you feel
and how you love her so
and now i'm dying faster
over words that she's allowed
this envy is so malice
this pain will never end.
so as i take this last breath
i'll go against your will
i'll close my eyes
and whisper softly
(****, you were the one
i love you and goodbye....)
to be continued....
Copyright ©
purplestary
... [
2005-02-28 19:04:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: i loved you
(User Rating: 1 )
by breny on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 07:10:44 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
this was good. I will be looking for the continuation to this....if there is one :-D
Great write!
~Brenna~ |
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Re: i loved you
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 08:16:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
A bit sad but a very powerfull write.
we all have feeelings that make us nutty from time 2 time so this one makes the masterpeice catagory.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: i loved you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mangs on
Tuesday, 1st March 2005 @ 07:06:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Cant wait for the next one....the sadness shines in your words.... |
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Re: i loved you
(User Rating: 1 )
by nabokovfan87 on
Saturday, 5th March 2005 @ 09:27:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| um decent had good thought to it but seems choppy. might be difficult but try to revisit and fix it see if u can make the end flow better and continue the rhyme scheme. gl... |
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