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No title
Contributed by
mnk_1112
on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 11:58:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
She's vengeful all day, even at night
I'm stuck in my room while you bicker and fight.
They're treated like gold; I like the plague
Your value for me is distorted and vague.
I keep all my feelings locked up inside,
And of all things submerged, they're the hardest to hide.
Love, what's that? Is it something I'd like?
Is it any better than her hate and spite?
No, you dont care, you couldn't care less,
The two things we cant have are peace and redress.
I try to ignore her, let my pain subside,
But now since she's your life, I have cause to die.
So here's my thanks for the grief and the pain,
And my life that's turned into my bane,
I'll sidle away and let you two live free,
I'll perish and let slip the mem'ry of me.
Copyright ©
mnk_1112
... [
2005-02-27 23:58:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: No title
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 12:12:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Sad but powerfull write.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: No title
(User Rating: 1 )
by JacobsKK on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 09:00:30 PM AEST
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| You have got excellent rhyming skills. Great work! |
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Re: No title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Quilted_rag_doll on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 08:53:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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They're treated like gold; I like the plague
Your value for me is distorted and vague.
wonderful...great job at rhyming, nice use of words...i really liked it...
Auryn |
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Re: No title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 5th March 2005 @ 09:40:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Stunning and sad. Its written to perfection, the rhyming was excellent and the words powerful. An incredible write. I think my favourite lines would have to be:
"I'll sidle away and let you two live free,
I'll perish and let slip the mem'ry of me."
Though they were all excellent... those just stood out to me. Very well done.
Take care
- Becca |
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Re: No title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 10:06:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Awesome write. I really liked this. Keep it up! :-) |
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