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I feel like a Shadow
Contributed by
xXcrossedXx
on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 11:32:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I wish I was a shadow,
Something no one notices.
Something you can barely see.
Something that's always watching,
Something that's always there for you.
I wish I could be a shadow, because,
That's how I feel. Like a shadow,
In the world, always there, but
Never talked to, never heard.
I wish I was a shadow,
So I'd have an excuse for feeling like this.
Copyright ©
xXcrossedXx
... [
2005-02-27 11:32:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I feel like a Shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 11:44:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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short and deep, I feel like a shadow sometimes, I think we all do from time to time, keep writing,
pix xx |
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Re: I feel like a Shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 11:58:24 AM AEST
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| I just read the poem you wrote about your Mom and then this one. They both made me so sad. I hope your able to work things out with your mom, and remember this, keep writing, keep expressing, you're no shadow here. Much peace to you. |
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Re: I feel like a Shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 04:56:39 PM AEST
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| needs less redundancy. good ending though. |
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Re: I feel like a Shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 07:29:24 PM AEST
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what can i say i don't want 2 dissilusion u so
i 'll stick 2 the comment very well written and
effective, hope all goes better 4 U . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: I feel like a Shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 09:55:42 PM AEST
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| well i still stand by my previous comment. i think that with the other works ive seen by you, that you could have better portrayed this to make the reader feel like this, as you say. sometimes the shorter the more powerful, but the more you repeat the more those take away from everything else that could have been said. as i say to some, you have one shot to impress a person, but if you tell them the same things instead of different things, chances are if they dont like those same things, you didnt impress them. you can impress, and you have impressed me before, just finding out how to get a hold of talent every time is the challenge. |
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