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Birth of a Vampire
Contributed by
LadyWynter
on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 07:19:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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"I can help you, let me show you'
as she silently drew near
Icy fingers touching softy
"Shhhh love, have no fear'
As I cried to her for mercy:
"The pain, it won't last long
And when finally you awaken
I promise you'll be strong'
She left me then, to die alone
Upon the harsh, cold floor
"i'm so afraid' I whispered
As she slowly closed the door
So many nights there after
I stayed hidden in that room
Hating what she'd made of me
I vowed it'd be my tomb
Then as the moon rose late one night
I heard a cry below
A maiden's voice, so soft and sad
I could not help but go
I found her in the darkness
Her eyes so filled with fright
And as I neared, I pulled her close
And whispered in the night:
"I can help you, let me show you......"
Copyright ©
LadyWynter
... [
2005-02-22 19:19:17] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Birth of a Vampire
(User Rating: 1 ) by tomt102444 on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 07:39:53 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ooooh! I like this poem. Easy to read; flows well. Story draws me in. First line repeated last and offering promise...
If only I could just pop something out like this...
Enjoyed the read. tom |
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Re: Birth of a Vampire
(User Rating: 1 ) by freckle on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 10:39:53 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Really good write. Good imagery, good flow. Kinda creepy, but I liked it! |
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Re: Birth of a Vampire
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 10:55:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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a cool vamp poem.
kinda dark, well written.
nice job.
5 stars
Arden |
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Re: Birth of a Vampire
(User Rating: 1 ) by Nazmythian on
Wednesday, 23rd February 2005 @ 12:19:27 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Brilliant, I really like that. The cycle repeating and continuing, never ending. I appreciate the rhyme pattern held throughout. I have spent some time in a vampiric frame of mind ... but rhyming one of his stories I have yet to do. This is fabulous.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Birth of a Vampire
(User Rating: 1 ) by Greg_Skellington on
Friday, 25th February 2005 @ 12:27:09 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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now this was good
greg |
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Re: Birth of a Vampire
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 1st March 2005 @ 07:53:35 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I adore poetic vampirism and have written pieces so, myself. Yet this is spectacular. I admire your intact rhyme scheme and meter, as well as the content in which flowed consistently and sequentially. There is much detail, in which I am in perfect awe of. This has essentially captured the many phases, post natal of a Vampire. Subtle and dark themes which have won over my heart! An interesting twist. |
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Re: Birth of a Vampire
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rylo on
Friday, 4th March 2005 @ 06:28:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is really awesome, I love it. Done to perfection. |
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Re: Birth of a Vampire
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Friday, 23rd May 2014 @ 06:01:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wicked good! this is sooo beautifully dark! i love
it, clever how you came around full circle too,
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->>--- |
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