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Storm
Contributed by
Maylaur
on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 05:27:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
As dusk draws in and lights go out
The night seems strangely quiet
You look at the wood stove and
Decide you ought to light it
The sky lights up with lightning
Thunder sounds for all its worth
The wind carries the sweet aroma
Of rain-dampened Earth
Drops of rain hit the roof
And make the metal clatter
Mixture of wind and raindrops
Form whispers of eerie chatter
You hear the thunder and you wonder
How long will it last?
Then things start quieting down a bit
And you see the storm has passed
Copyright ©
Maylaur
... [
2005-02-22 17:27:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhymingron on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 05:33:30 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| You made it real. Good job. |
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Re: Storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Les4567 on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 05:37:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good job and for a lthe little bit of criticism you may want to break up your lines a little bit
Also maybe take out some ands
Other than that I thought it was great
very real and very descriptive
~Leslie |
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Re: Storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Les4567 on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 05:38:24 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
good job and for a lthe little bit of criticism you may want to break up your lines a little bit
Other than that I thought it was great
very real and very descriptive
~Leslie |
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