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Come For Me (Chanting A Beckon)
Contributed by
Xnoybis
on
Sunday, 20th February 2005 @ 05:11:40 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Come for me
When you think it's best
Come for me
When you've had your rest
Come for me
In some random night
Come for me
When you doubt my sight
Come for me
When you think you're ready
Come for me
When your hands are steady
Come for me
When you cast your youth
Come for me
When you hold your Truth
Come for me
With your best stance
Come for me
When you grow your pants
Come for me
When you think it's Time
Come for me
When you're in your Prime
Come for me
And don't doubt your heart
Come for me
And I'll tear you apart
Copyright ©
Xnoybis
... [
2005-02-20 05:11:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Come For Me (Chanting A Beckon)
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 09:54:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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You have alot to say between the "come for me" lines - unfortunately, to be honest, after the first three stanzas or so I started skipping the come for me lines all together. I am sure that is not as you intended and maybe that is a hint to take some out or split them up to make your other lines more powerful.
Oh, and what does "when you grow your pants" mean?.... that one threw me. :)
I do like the switch at the end - about tearing them apart, that is unexpected.
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Re: Come For Me (Chanting A Beckon)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Channing on
Tuesday, 29th August 2006 @ 04:59:49 PM AEST
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The "Come for me" line is used too often I believe, but other than that it is a very solid and well written poem.
-Channing- |
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