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It came back today
Contributed by
xXcrossedXx
on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 04:22:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
It was going away,
I swear it was.
I had stopped cutting,
Honestly, I had.
I still looked at my scars,
But I didn’t do it again.
It was going away!
I swear it was!
I don’t want anti-depressants,
It’s left I swear!
See, no new marks are there!
It was going away,
I swear it was.
All the medication
Is still there, all tablets
In the bottle.
It was going away!
I swear it was!
I fought really hard!
For two months it’s been gone!
It was going away…
I swear it was…
It just…
Came back today.
Copyright ©
xXcrossedXx
... [
2005-02-17 16:22:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 04:40:50 PM AEST
(User
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a Message)
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| this is a nice write, written with a certain level of urgency and desperation. its as if it was extremely urgent that they seemed convinced, and i dunno, i just found that aspect of the poem my favorite. great work. |
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 07:00:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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just keep on writting and hoping is all one can do, nice poem sorry 4 your pain wish u well . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hakiokusaken on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 07:13:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good write. keep it up
*Hakiokusaken* |
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 07:53:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great write. I sensed a lot of frustration in it. I hope it goes away for good for you. |
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Friday, 18th February 2005 @ 12:35:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great write..I liked the way you used the repeat fashion and the structure..Of course
=]
Clark |
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 18th February 2005 @ 01:16:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Repetition is tough to pull off, but you've done it well here with the repeating of "It was going away! I swear it was!". And converting the "!" to "..." at the ending - nice! It sets up the last two lines so well... they - have impact.
And yeh... I understand what Marc (Fielding88) is saying. There is a feeling that comes along with this. I felt it too.
Well done!
~SNM~ |
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by thecutter on
Wednesday, 27th April 2005 @ 04:07:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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great poem,full of emotion. i know how u feel too,id been a few months with no cuttin an no anti-depressants but yesterday i went a bit crazy again wiv everythin.
keep up the good writes,ill be lookin out for em. mark. |
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by thecutter on
Wednesday, 27th April 2005 @ 04:07:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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great poem,full of emotion. i know how u feel too,id been a few months with no cuttin an no anti-depressants but yesterday i went a bit crazy again wiv everythin.
keep up the good writes,ill be lookin out for em. mark. |
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Re: It came back today
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXx_lil_pyro_xXx on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 11:27:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| awesome poem, the repitition was great and i loved it!! keep it up amanda! |
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