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The End Of Little Red Riding Hood!
Contributed by
AliB
on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 03:35:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
Red she got her castle
Far off in the hills
But she still needed an income
And started selling pills
All the fairyland people
Were on one thing or another
Even Baby Bear came by
For amphetamines for his mother
Goldilocks had scared her rigid
Poor Mummy Bear couldn’t move
Baby Bear had heard about Red
Although he didn’t approve
The 3 little pigs they all smoked weed
And were always on a high
The Big Bad Wolf supplied them
And was planning a big pork pie
When Red heard of the competition
She advertised ‘Buy One Get One Free’
And soon they were queuing for miles around
All glassy eyed and dreamy
Red then got slightly worried
Her profits had gone down
She had a castle to uphold
And was down to her last five pounds
There was only one thing she could do
To solve her money worries
The Big Bad Wolf would have to go
She went to see one of her buddies
Bambi was a drugs baron
Who supplied our little Red
She explained about the Big Bad Wolf
And her wish to see him dead
But Red had crossed Bambi’s path
One too many times
He refused point blank to help her
And her sexual favours he declined
“You’ve tried my patience for far too long
You still owe me a few grand
Just pack your bags, we’ll call it quits
Say goodbye to this fairytale land”
“Oh Bambi please, don’t drive me out
We’ve worked so well together
If you make me go, I’ll stoop so low
And tell of your fetish for leather!”
Bambi looked on, he wanted her gone
Bribery just wouldn’t work
The mud wouldn’t stick
Did she think he was thick?
Everyone knew Red’s a dirty ole flirt
So high was the sun
When Bambi took out his gun
The bullet went straight through Red’s heart
Her last dying words
Sounded rather absurd
She said
“I never got to shop at Walmart”
The very next day
Six foot under she lay
Not a soul did visit her grave
On her headstone it said
‘Thank Bambi, she’s dead
Not a penny did that tight slapper save!’
Copyright ©
AliB
... [
2005-02-17 15:35:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The End Of Little Red Riding Hood!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dawny on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 04:06:08 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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LMAO!!!!
This is excellent, and well worth the wait I might add. I havent laughed so much in ages. I have missed your poems mate, welcome back and keep em coming.
Love Dawny xxx |
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Re: The End Of Little Red Riding Hood!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 18th February 2005 @ 03:40:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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lol lol lol what an ending! the best of the trilogy may i add.
johnny. |
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