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Vampire
Contributed by
in2thetwilightzone
on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 07:24:06 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
you
did
this
to
me
i
can
never
forgive
you
now
come
on
and
bite
my
bullet
see
if
you
can
handle
my
flames
im
going
to
come
and
get
you
no
more
silly
games
im
going
to
pop
my
head
through
your
fireplace
then
with
a
single
roar
demolish
your
house
into
skin-shuddering
fear
the
terror
will
destroy
you
piece
by
piece
im
going
to
come
to
your
bedroom
then
steal
your
dreams
into
nightmares
and
then
you
ask
"what
will
i
see
in
those
nightmares?"
i
will
show
you
in
real
life
just
bring
your
blood
filled
body
a
little
bit
closer
to
mine
strip
naked
let
my
fangs
caress
your
intimacy
ill
show
you
my
undead
pain...
jazz "
Copyright ©
in2thetwilightzone
... [
2005-02-17 07:24:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Vampire
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 09:05:00 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Nicely done. I particularly liked the line "then with a single roar demolish your house into skin-shuddering fear"
Excellent.
Take Care
- Becca |
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Re: Vampire
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 09:53:42 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really like the style you use on this.
It's a rather scary poem, but really good.
If I could suggest anything it would be to maybe swap a couple of the stanza's around.
Great write,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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