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February 14th, 2005
Contributed by
Breezy1125
on
Wednesday, 16th February 2005 @ 05:33:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
-i feel speechless........
my words caught up n a song
he played it fa me da otha night wen i wanted 2 cry
while talkin' 2 him on da phone.....
-i feel scared...
scared 2 talk or laugh or so i repeat talk
last time i stated how i felt his feet started steppin
so out my heart he walked...
-i feel afraid...
afraid 2 care, afraid 2 move
stuck on what happened previously
dont wanna move 2 close r 2 far..dont wanna lose what's left of YOU....
-i feel tired & sleepy..
cant seem 2 hold back water..
we've walked, talked, and played games...
you even sounded sexy wen askin "bay gimme a quater..."
-i feel trapped...
4 walls, crazy house..
and dis straight-jacket aint fadin away...
i feel as i've stated above..all dis **** on dis sad ** Valentine's Day.....
Dedicated 2 da one i miss..need..care 4...and LOVE
~Breezy-B~
Copyright ©
Breezy1125
... [
2005-02-16 17:33:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: February 14th, 2005
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Wednesday, 16th February 2005 @ 06:03:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Is this a poem or a text message? I see a lot of promiss but the short text for me took away from the poem. Sorry my opinion only. |
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Re: February 14th, 2005
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Wednesday, 16th February 2005 @ 06:53:52 PM AEST
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I agree that it might have been nice to fully spell out your words, but beyond that, I think what matters is the content of the poem. And what I notice most about the poem, is your honesty. I like that. You weren't afraid to write about how you are scared. You really put yourself into the poem. You expressed your inner, private thoughts, and I think that is why we should write.
Be True,
zenmind |
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