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Car
Contributed by
LevyMetal
on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 05:14:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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It all goes back to the feeling of cold weather,
My great new jacket made out of leather.
That shirt you wore that night now sits in my car,
It reeks of sweat and still stinks of tar.
Assumed you'd be just like boys in my past,
Flavor of the week but somehow you made it last.
Under my better judgement i built trust in denial,
I filled up my lust cup and cranked on that smile.
Solid promises became days of the week,
I remembered how to catch buses at night on the street.
I give you my life when i step in your Altima,
Come on kid, you should of let the car turn over.
Glass, rubber, metal and body parts,
Who the hell is gonna clean this up?
You make me feel real through dangerous risks,
But i feel that this trust is losing its grip.
Copyright ©
LevyMetal
... [
2005-02-15 17:14:11] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Car
(User Rating: 1 ) by zenmind on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 05:21:30 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Sorry to hear that this happened to you. That's pretty f**cked up.
It all goes back to the feeling of cold weather,
This was the best line, I think. It is the most poetic. It really expresses a feeling that anyone can relate to.
Be True,
zenmind |
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Re: Car
(User Rating: 1 ) by xxbreathlessx on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 05:46:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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well,first off im sorry for what happened, and i know i shouldnt judge but my first impression of this relationship is that is ...dangerous. but anyways i think this poem was very well written. i like how you said many things in this poem such as :
"I filled up my lust cup and cranked on that smile.
Solid promises became days of the week, "
i think by just this short poem you have said alot and that's a gift, awesome job
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Re: Car
(User Rating: 1 ) by vibes2go on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 06:05:38 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I won't comment on your personal life..this isn't dear abbey..the poetry is top notch..or is that knotch??? (scratches head?.. ) |
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