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Remember Me in the Rain
Contributed by
xXcrossedXx
on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 09:40:59 AM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
|
Remember me in the rain.
Remember how I hated the pain.
Remember my tears
Hitting the floor,
As you see the raindrops
Pounding your door.
Remember me in the rain,
Remember the cut on my vein.
Remember how I sat inside
Crying because of the times you lied.
Remember the tears on my face
When you see the raindrops take their place,
On your other daughters head.
Remember me in the rain,
Know that you caused the pain.
Remember the tears beating the floor
Because of you,
I walked out that door.
Remember me in the rain,
I didn’t just cut my vein.
Remember how I sat inside
Crying because I hadn’t died.
Remember the tears that painted my face
Was I that much of a disgrace?
Copyright ©
xXcrossedXx
... [
2005-02-13 09:40:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by dtborchert on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 10:17:03 AM AEST
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| This is very unique. It sad with a lot of powerful emotions in this poem. |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 11:10:33 AM AEST
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Quite a heartbreaking first post, xXcrossedXx. *sigh* Your pain is obvious here. You've done well in expressing it.
The title... "Remember Me in the Rain" is beautiful.
Welcome to YPDC! Keep writing!
~SNM~ |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 11:34:29 AM AEST
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| Thank you very much, I'm glad to be here :) |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 03:15:12 PM AEST
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You've done a great thing with words here, darling. I can't even begin to tell you how much I like this. Though it's sad, it's honest and it's well worded with just enough repetition and none of that tacky slant rhyme. I love this poem and I hope to see more from you in the future.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 03:35:30 PM AEST
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Phenomenal first post...
Very hard hitting and i can understand where you are coming from, I get really depressed and write all kinds of depressing and suididal poems too..
Great job
Clark |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 08:19:35 PM AEST
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very heartfelt sad but beautifuly written wish u well . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 08:20:19 PM AEST
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| Great write. I liked the flow....You're very talented. |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by xoxpaperxheartxox on
Sunday, 20th February 2005 @ 04:43:31 PM AEST
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wow i cant even say anything but wow that is so awesome if i could write like that wow it actually made me cry i know how you feel
xoxox back
Shawn |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetryforthesoul on
Saturday, 26th February 2005 @ 03:32:57 PM AEST
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| IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!! WAHHHHH!!*blows nose and throws tissue behind back and it lands on brother* keep on writing!!! your becoming one of my most favorite poet!!!! |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 08:43:36 AM AEST
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You've cleverly used the rain here to weave a wonderfully sad and despairing piece.
Nicely done!!! |
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Re: Remember Me in the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 08:54:31 PM AEST
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| this is an excellent first post. some things that i saw were that you were borderline on too much repetition. its a very well done freestyle, the ending stood out most, because it afterall was the best part of the piece, as an ending should always be. |
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