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a friends valentine
Contributed by
jamiry
on
Saturday, 12th February 2005 @ 06:43:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
You have been done wrong it’s really hard to explain
That boy must have been insane!
My best friend is what you are
Something it seems could have been wished upon a star
Sometimes it feels that we should be
Sometimes I wish that you could see
I have showed you my feelings once before
Uncomfortable around me is what you were
Now it seems everything is fine
As a friend today will you be my valentine
Copyright ©
jamiry
... [
2005-02-12 18:43:03] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: a friends valentine
(User Rating: 1 ) by DragonLuvSong on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 01:14:33 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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its very cute. but some things if you want constructive criticism: the second to last couplet doesn't rhyme, so it kinda throws the whole thing off. and just a question: did you rework your syntax just so that the poem would rhyme? |
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