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I trusted you!!!!!
Contributed by
aprilrose
on
Friday, 11th February 2005 @ 03:14:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
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There was a moment in time when you could take my breath away...
I clung from every word you'd say....
You could never do no wrong in my eyes..
For a moment in time i was so blind..
You made my world an utter mess..
I see you now your ugly with your devil ways
Your evil charm that tells the girls that you can do no wrong
You hypnotize them and then you kill there hearts and souls..
For a moment in time i was that girl you tore through..
You made me lose everything and it was all becouse i trusted you!!!!
Copyright ©
aprilrose
... [
2005-02-11 15:14:58] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I trusted you!!!!!
(User Rating: 1 ) by afterdark on
Friday, 11th February 2005 @ 03:19:18 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You know to be honest I almost get hard when someone asks for good or bad comments..More often then not it is cause it is a bad poem...However this was not bad at all..Very good write..This worked well.. |
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Re: I trusted you!!!!!
(User Rating: 1 ) by in2thetwilightzone2 on
Friday, 11th February 2005 @ 03:54:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i liked that, that is exactly how i felt with jordan, he ***** everything up, excuse my french. but i never fancied him, if anything he was more a girlfriend than male friend (im a 13 yearold girl by the way) so i like it. I FEEL IT xxxxxxxxxxxxxjazzxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Re: I trusted you!!!!!
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 11th February 2005 @ 06:26:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Good write. It's well written. |
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Re: I trusted you!!!!!
(User Rating: 1 ) by DorianChambers on
Saturday, 12th February 2005 @ 12:30:48 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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a beautiful write, filled with sadness and the
betrayal of anothers cruel deed . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: I trusted you!!!!!
(User Rating: 1 ) by saveMEfromMYSELF on
Saturday, 12th February 2005 @ 12:48:47 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great poem. The only problem I saw was gramatical. The thrid line,
You could never do no wrong in my eyes..
It's a double negative. From the point you're trying to make it should be You could never do wrong in my eyes or you could do no wrong... But besides that it is an excellent poem. Maynard |
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