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My Struggle
Contributed by
kisser89
on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 04:41:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I sit alone in darkness
A pure evil starts to roam across my heart
The knife lies alone
I whisper my goodbyes to the dim moonlight filtering through my window
I wrap my fingers around the handle
I kiss the blade
The cool steely touch against my lips sends chills through my body
Fear and pain float around in my mind
I try to remember when it all began
When I started wanting to end what I thought was my tragic un-existing life
It was a time of overwhelming stress
A time when I tried to hide my true self
Tried to hide the scars and despair
Tried to cover the lies and untruths
As I would walk past my peers in the hall id cover my face
Never wanting them to guess
Never wanting them to see
It was just that morning the teacher said hi
Just that afternoon I had lunch with my friends
Just that evening I went online and he made me laugh
And only hours ago my mom said she loved me
The glint of light flashed across the cold steel of the blade in my hand
Reminding me of the light of hope and dreams that had become an unknown comfort
I hold the knife against my wrist
Positioning it under the gold bracelet I got last Christmas
My fingers slide over the gold links connecting the tiny golden hearts
I feel it slice through the flesh and tissue
I start to see the essence of a person’s life start to drop on the bed
Blood
My Blood
The droplets of blood painted a crimson mural against my skin and sheets
The metallic sent drifts through the room
I look down and see, to many, the sacred ruby river flow from my cut
Nothingness begins to set in
I regret so much
Yet wish……..
Pray……
For help,
For life
My body goes limp as it falls to the floor
In the midst of unconsciousness
My own tears of sorrow and anguish fall to mix with the blood, the life I have stolen from myself
My Blood
My Life
My Death
Yet through everything I feel his arms
The arms of he who touched my life
I feel as though im drowning
But through the excruciating void I feel his strength
Feeling his tears slide down my cheek I begin to fight just he is
A fight that could let me see the future
Or have me slip into oblivion
To have me see the ones who love me grieve at my grave
To see there tears water the many flowers that would be surrounding my coffin
I hear something
Sirens?
Then nothing
I wake up in a clean white room
Cotton bandages are wrapped around my, forever scarred, wrist
I look through the window
I see…
The sun?
A second chance?
Yes to both but I also see…
Life
This is for, who I like to think of as, my guardian angel at times
Luv ya Kid
Copyright ©
kisser89
... [
2005-02-08 16:41:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Struggle
(User Rating: 1 )
by wolfman on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 05:21:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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a truly tragice poem with a forgivning end, I to have felt that way before and have almost been there but to many interuptions (lol), it is good to know that you have a guardian angle, keep him close to you and your heart, he can save you in more ways then one.
this was a tragic poem but I like how you were able to pull through it, I dont know if I have a guardian angle but I know that theyr are those out there that do look over me, but just know that if you need help and your angle isnt there then you can just come to us we'll help you. be strong and God bless.
wolfman |
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Re: My Struggle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mandy2007 on
Thursday, 10th February 2005 @ 08:11:08 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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WOW! that was so self explainitory! I LOVED that poem! You are so talented! That really let others know what it's like to slowly die from cutting, and being saved. Some people are not so lucky.....
You can check out my poems if you wanna. |
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