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Drowning in a sea of you...
Contributed by
FleurdeSang
on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 04:35:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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Drowning in your eyes again,
A sea of green and amber...
Beneath silver moonbeams and winking stars,
Your sweet lullaby of kisses and caresses,
I slumber, warm in your arms...
The world seems to shine,
Past fires are rekindled,
A moonlit dance is shared between strangers,
And the winds whisper of a flawless fate...
Is this love?
Copyright ©
FleurdeSang
... [
2005-02-08 16:35:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Drowning in a sea of you...
(User Rating: 1 )
by _myonlyone_ on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 04:40:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow.
that's all I have got to say. awesome.
_myonlyone_ |
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Re: Drowning in a sea of you...
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 06:45:00 PM AEST
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This poem is sooooo good! Wow! I don't think I can say that enough. I thought that this piece was amazing in a very subtle way. I don't think it will draw as much attention from your other poems because of subtleties, but I have to say that I was truely blown away.
The words you use here are beautiful and angelic----lovely----it made me feel love---- Which I think makes the poem succeed.
The whole poem is amazing.
Drowning in your eyes again,
A sea of green and amber...
I really loved that description.....it's deeply felt, but subtle at the same time. I love subtleties because I think the beauty of life can be seen through the soft sublte details that we usually don't notice because we are distracted. And so when we are paying close enough attention to see all of the details, we really see the beauty.
Beneath silver moonbeams and winking stars,
Again, I love this heavenly image. I think the two agectives you used "silver" to describe "moonbeams", and "winking" to describe "stars" added so much to the feeling of this line. Again, sublte.
The world seems to shine,
Past fires are rekindled,
A moonlit dance is shared between strangers,
And the winds whisper of a flawless fate...
Beautiful. "past fires are rekindled"----wow, that says so much about the vibrancy you are experiencing within yourself. It's like a reawakening, a renewal of spirit. Again, very deeply felt.
"a moonlit dance is shared between strangers"---- Again, this line is so freakin deep and profound. Wow! That might be my favorite line. And also it's very sublt to. But it carries with it such a deep and strong emotion to it. "And the winds whisper a flawless fate"
-------Great line again. Breath-taking
"Is this love?"
I think so
Be true,
zenmind |
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Re: Drowning in a sea of you...
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueyes11 on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 08:34:36 PM AEST
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it's precarious, writing love-themed poetry. it can often come off sounding rather clicheed. but i must commend you. i really liked especially this part:
"Drowning in your eyes again,
A sea of green and amber...
Beneath silver moonbeams and winking stars"
Great visual, and i can relate. |
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Re: Drowning in a sea of you...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 10:28:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh so beautiful, lovely poem.
Scott |
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