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It all Ends
Contributed by
Sk8ergrl_911
on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 05:29:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Long walks,
simple talks.
Beautiful scenery,
just you and me.
The wonderfully painted sunset,
soft winds blow,
moonlight shows,
night creeps in as we leave.
Never ending pavement,
lights flash,
sudden break.
Before we know it, it all ends.
(In other words, live your life, enjoy love, and always go for your dream, no matter what the risk)
Copyright ©
Sk8ergrl_911
... [
2005-02-07 17:29:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: It all Ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by MLCstar on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 05:38:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| not bad; but i would not have glenned that message that you gave at the end if you had not presented it. I am not saying make the meaning obvious, but if you want it to come through, make a little more effort to show the message if you think it is important. |
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Re: It all Ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by Phantomdream on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 07:25:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This was okay. You're poem ryhmes, and then it doesn't. It flows, and then it doesn't. It's beautiful, than it's rough. |
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Re: It all Ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sk8ergrl_911 on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 09:45:43 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Yeah, I guess that's sorta how it's supposed to go, I didn't really look over it, it's just a message that not a lot of people think, I've done a lot better and am capable of it! .....but thank you for your critism |
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