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Ready To Die
Contributed by
Amanda_Interrupted
on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 05:50:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Staring into the sky, wishing it would rain
To wash away the tears that fall from pain
I look at my body and get sick from hate
Then I begin to wish for the end, an early fate
I’m haunted by the ninth grade Nazi’s that always joked
But it was the rage in me they always provoked
I’d rather be hurt by sticks and stones
Rather than words that carve into my bones
I’d whisper “Mirror, mirror on the wall..
Why can’t I be thin and tall?”
Then I’d shatter the mirror to cut myself here and there
And if I emptied a vein, I wouldn’t care
Sanity is staring at the scars I’ve made
Evidence of nights I praised my razorblade
I was trying to ease my affliction
Instead my body’s become a bloody depiction
I’m cursed with this razor’s oppression
And feed its flame with this depression
I’m both feared and taunted
And by these memories I’m haunted
I remember the nights my blood splattered the bathroom walls
And my screams of anguish echoed through the halls
But now, I have no more places to run
And with each breath, I’m coming undone
I simply can’t do this anymore
And I can’t figure out what this life’s for
So I’ve chosen to go gentle into that good night
I won’t scream and I won’t fight
I’ll be the best victim there could ever be
And just another statistic will become of me
I won’t kneel, and I won’t pray
And I won’t beg to live another day
I’ll quietly take my final breath
And secretly escape into my death
I’ll not sob and I won’t shed a tear
Because tonight I know the end is finally here
With each pill, I become death’s best friend
Because he’s going to bring all this misery to an end
And I will become Lucifer’s favorite victim
For I so easily let him win
This is the only way to right everything wrong
This is the only way to forever be numb
I’ll leave a letter for everyone to read
Then maybe they’ll understand my selfish deed
Oh, how I wish I could sleep all day long
And I wish I could sing a happy song
I wish that I could just be brave
But instead I’m running and digging my grave
Amazing grace is gone, I’ve already fell
Tonight I’m on my way to a burning hell
I’m finally letting my demons win
And giving in to my self indulgent sin
I left my sanity at the door
I’d rather not have it anymore
Because I know these wounds are never going to heal
And this pain, I’m forever going to feel
So here I sit in my corner all alone
And wait for such peace I have never known
My writings of pain riddle the floor
Boldly expressing the words “I can’t take it anymore”
I’ve taken the remedy and here I lie
Waiting and longing only to die
For this life has sentenced me to death
Here I am breathing my last breath
I’m ready now to say goodbye
And I’m ready now, ready to die
-Amanda Bentley
Copyright ©
Amanda_Interrupted
... [
2005-02-06 17:50:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ready To Die
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 06:13:48 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Amanda,
This is a very good write, you express yourself well. I hope it's just words though
and won't consist of actions. Life will get better when you least expect it, I'm willing to bet on it. Keep up the writing. |
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Re: Ready To Die
(User Rating: 1 )
by Taurusgem1 on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 06:16:09 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Very dark and real. I loved how you used Dylan Thomas's line. |
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Re: Ready To Die
(User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 06:30:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
painfully beautiful.. absolutely incredible flow to this.. i was captivated all the way through. wonderful write, i must look up more of your writings.
charlotte xxx |
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Re: Ready To Die
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mandy2007 on
Thursday, 10th February 2005 @ 08:39:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| WOW is all i have to say, that is amazing. I'd love it if you could contact me, i'd love to talk. You have talent. Alot of it. Don't destroy yourself, you'll kill your talent. |
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