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Imagination
Contributed by
craggy
on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 05:15:13 AM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
Imaginations kind is where she floats
sings in perfect stanza's thrilling notes,
swift in eye & movement quickest prance.
Peripheral beings within her aura
life's spirit does enhance;
Two listening ears catch onto every sound,
creating harmony brings senses found.
Birds & insects scurrying on the ground,
feel her presence when she is near , joy abounds;
She seems to rule
the places she surveys
catches heart & mind she does amaze.
Her face is older than the ocean depths
& smoother than a child's,
tolerance taller than the trees,
temper , soft & mild;
Without guilt she stands true,
decision pure on course to do;
She's a real live Fairy Princess
her word is fairy law.
She wings the sky through clouds & rain, across rainbows she does soar.
Copyright ©
craggy
... [
2005-02-06 05:15:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Imagination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 08:24:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A good attempt at defining imagination, however indefinite I think it might be.
I like your rhymes, but think that the flow towards each one was a little choppy.
"She seems to rule
the places she surveys
catches heart & mind she does amaze. "
For instance, the last line there doesn't really fit when trying to read it back. I'd write it like this;
"She seems to rule
the places she surveys
and captures the heart
and mind to so amaze."
Something like that, anyways.
Hope this helps. Keep writing, Craggy. |
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Re: Imagination
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Saturday, 10th September 2005 @ 08:57:12 AM AEST
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I agree with the comment here, this part is quite nice
She seems to rule
the places she surveys
catches heart & mind she does amaze.
Rest of it is a bit choppy, but nice. |
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