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The Day it Rained

Contributed by taurusgem1 on Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 07:59:50 PM in AEST
Topic: Event

Curiosity of the tepid rain
Sprinkling gently among the silver streets
Cars shiny, satin finish, passing by
Swerving through each oil slick

Marching formation of the umbrella army
Rushing into the marketplaces, avoiding
Each tear drop, falling into the puddles,
Dark misty light, dusting the sky in gray

Wind feathering trees, slowly dancing
Children walking, slicked, bright yellow raincoats
Shadows forming quietly, directing light
From black holes, Radiant beams

Attacking peoples eyes, bright infuriation
Seamless stream announcing its return
The rain stops, and the umbrella army, bows
Saluting the sun

Copyright © taurusgem1 ... [ 2005-02-03 19:59:50]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Day it Rained (User Rating: 1 )
by bonita2689 on Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 08:41:35 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Lovely imagery was just gushing from this poem but I am a bit confused on what emotion you were trying to provoke from the reader. This is a wonderful write and the vocabulary and word choice is great but I think a bit more could be done to it to make the reader react.

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