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The Day it Rained
Contributed by
taurusgem1
on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 07:59:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
Event
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Curiosity of the tepid rain
Sprinkling gently among the silver streets
Cars shiny, satin finish, passing by
Swerving through each oil slick
Marching formation of the umbrella army
Rushing into the marketplaces, avoiding
Each tear drop, falling into the puddles,
Dark misty light, dusting the sky in gray
Wind feathering trees, slowly dancing
Children walking, slicked, bright yellow raincoats
Shadows forming quietly, directing light
From black holes, Radiant beams
Attacking peoples eyes, bright infuriation
Seamless stream announcing its return
The rain stops, and the umbrella army, bows
Saluting the sun
Copyright ©
taurusgem1
... [
2005-02-03 19:59:50] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Day it Rained
(User Rating: 1 ) by bonita2689 on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 08:41:35 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Lovely imagery was just gushing from this poem but I am a bit confused on what emotion you were trying to provoke from the reader. This is a wonderful write and the vocabulary and word choice is great but I think a bit more could be done to it to make the reader react. |
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