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The Disease
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 12:17:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Please stop me I'm bleeding
I don't know what I'm desperately needing
I have no place to hide,
But within myself I have cried
As I cover my sadness
With a fake facade of happiness
I shall take joy in your every quaking denial
Which will be swiftly repaid in blood
This will not be something you will forget in a little while
I will show you more mercy than I should,
But with bitternes you will sleep
And with fear you will weep
Violently I will seak release
Screaming for surcease
I stare agape at my bloodied hands
As I kneel in failure's sands (hands)
Grieving upon my numbed knees
As I give in, to this disease
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2005-02-03 00:17:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Disease
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 02:51:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Ohh that was just dark throughout I liked it a lot Joel.
You've been writing with so much passion it's just awesome to see you grow as a writer.
Kudos on a great write.
Jane x
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Re: The Disease
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 11:37:43 AM AEST
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very well penned dark write, look forward to your next poem,
pix xx |
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Re: The Disease
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 11:03:10 PM AEST
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| i liked this one very much. very creative in its presentation when most of your ideas seem so overplayed here, but this was new, it was original, it was fantastico. |
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Re: The Disease
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 01:12:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Awesome job Joel. This one is really good I think. I like it a lot.
The flow/rhythm of it kept me into it the whole time and I enjoyed it a lot
the whole way through. I really felt I could relate to it and it was like
I was going through what you wrote while I read it. You rock!
~Waos/Kara |
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Re: The Disease
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kami on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 07:25:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very good!
deep but very nice job with the rhyiming
keep up the good work! |
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