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Hold On
Contributed by
ForeverAlone
on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 06:09:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
You push away
As I try to hold on
You did'nt give me a reason
For not letting me hang on
I want to help you
Love you
Care for you
Be there for you
Why would'nt you let me hold you?
Is there anything I can do
Just to let me hold you
One more time
In my arms
You're beautiful body
Wrapped by these
Ugly arms
I thought we could bond
I thought we could go on
I wanted to hold on
But I guess something was wrong
And thats why
Your gone
Why would'nt
You
Let me
Hold On?
Copyright ©
ForeverAlone
... [
2005-02-02 18:09:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hold On
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 06:53:19 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
these words are perfect, this wold make an excellent song if the right music was added. Maybe somting slow but along the lines of Stabbign Westward's Waking up Beside You. yeah, I can hear it now.
Nicly done. |
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Re: Hold On
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 09:02:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| eh, i didnt like this one so much. use of the same words too many times, and the rhyme of the same words over and over just annoys me. this would make an okay song, but it would be better with less repeating of you and on. your ending was good though. i always like your endings. |
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Re: Hold On
(User Rating: 1 )
by heartbroken4ever on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 09:34:10 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I love this poem! |
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Re: Hold On
(User Rating: 1 )
by BOZEEN on
Friday, 27th March 2009 @ 10:27:27 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| it was cool |
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