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''Refuse for the pain wh*re...''

Contributed by xMizeriex on Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 11:12:47 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

I open tenacious petals to a world that
treats me with an echoing odium,
The unholy orchid.
Every element organic,
Every organ feels a pain.

Ever hurting,
Never relinquished.

I am precarious,
Utterly unstable in my skin.
A putrid perfection eminates around me,
but I do not feel elegant today,
I am not pretty in any way..
Thoughts breed in the cacophony
of my mind.
But it's too late to scream them
through my lips,
Sore and chapped by the wicked lady
winter.
I have but one release.
Licentiously I turn to a meretricious panancea.
the dirty cartharsis of my fragile existance.
With a rusty blade between my fingertips,
I begin this sick, malicious 'masturbation'.
taunting and teasing my skin with
scratches.
Creating my home-made stigma.
While I am trapped in what is to be
my burial vault.
But this activity hides my ulterior motive.
the reason I came.
Multiple times.
I don't want to stop,
I am in ecstacy.
My flesh ignites in a tumult of sensations.
Every muscle obsteperous,
Convulsing.
Over...Over.
I see things differently,
Monochrome.
As I sever fibrous chord joining muscle to bone.
These new feelings,
I can not fake it,
But I feel this new 'hobby' is postulated.
I lay in purgatory.
Torrid.
My very own requiem,
Singing my sibilant dirge.
Sordid.
This is my sanguine addiction,
My very own path to perdition.
Words resound in my head,
Voracious quotes from the ghosts
I have bled
for.
Harder & Faster.
I begin to stab,
So uncontrollably.
As with a sacrilegious lust I carve
the letters in my arm;
.A.
.L.
.O.
.N.
.E.

(c) Bethanie Martell, 2nd January, 2005.

Copyright © xMizeriex ... [ 2005-01-31 11:12:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: ''Refuse for the pain wh*re...'' (User Rating: 1 )
by jace on Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 11:41:17 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Truly graphic,
I hope this was just a poem

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