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Whispering, Consuming, Hell
Contributed by
waos
on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 09:26:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Eats away inside;
aching
beyond desire.
Immeasurable need.
Caged and slamming,
bruising attacking ‘gainst brick walls.
Escape - escape - escape – escape.
Rage with war and revolt.
Dashed hopes fade
to beats and screams.
Sometimes it whispers,
sometimes it aches,
sometimes just consumes;
swallowing insanity alive.
Still hope for freedom and release
or just a hand to hold,
an arm to wrap inside,
a fingertip to heal the tears
And set the flood free.
Question right to claim freedom.
Fall to rest on gravel roads outside paradise.
Blow away with smoke and burned papers
to drift in pain.
Smokeless embers
in a Personal Hell.
Copyright ©
waos
... [
2005-01-30 21:26:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Whispering, Consuming, Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 09:28:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i liked how this progressively got deeper as your poem went along. |
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Re: Whispering, Consuming, Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 10:08:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very solid write. |
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Re: Whispering, Consuming, Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 10:21:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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We all fall sometime.
Gravel raods ain't so bad.
Actually they now have names these days.
it's an awesome write so stop kicken yo self.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Whispering, Consuming, Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 10:45:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well I disagree with you this was really good
maybe not as good as the previousone u
posted on here, but still really good.
"Sometimes it whispers,
sometimes it aches,
sometimes just consumes;
swallowing insanity alive."
I could really relate to that and those were my
favourite lines in the poem.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Whispering, Consuming, Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 12:40:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
the frantic pace of this fit the ideas perfectly...
very well done
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Whispering, Consuming, Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 06:29:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
What a sad poetic write, i like how you composed this.
Everything has a ring of truth to it.
Good write.
Jane x |
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