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Break Your Neck
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Saturday, 29th January 2005 @ 10:41:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Bury Honesty
Smile the smile of the damned
Stare through hollow eyes
Fill yourself with emptiness
Gorge yourself on unfulfillment
Lave yourself with lies
Grin through a deadened mind
Give thanks for what you don't own
Cry through swollen eyes
Kiss your bleeding wrists
Negativity is your only god
Slip the noose around your neck
Smile and bring the bottle
Of Emptiness to your lips
One last stabbing, suffocating sob
Your final words
And then jump for your Freedom
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2005-01-29 22:41:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Break Your Neck
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 29th January 2005 @ 11:38:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| your friend was correct in their assessment. brilliant poem. i couldnt help but think of myself in some of the beginning lines. some still stare through eyelids... |
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Re: Break Your Neck
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 03:49:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Well uour friend is right, this is very deep.
I liked the way it makes you feel the sadness of it all.
It's sort of thought provoking as well which is a good mix if you know what your doing. Which you do.
Great write Joel.
Jane x |
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Re: Break Your Neck
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 12:06:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow thats a heavy piece of work. Yes it rings with anger and yes the vision true through words created ... but the last line needs a touch more... perhap something like ......
Is that all there is?
Perhap I saw the poem differ then you .
Nice work I enjoyed it.
Whisper
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Re: Break Your Neck
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 01:51:47 PM AEST
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"Slip the noose around your neck
Smile and bring the bottle
Of Emptiness to your lips"
That part really stuck out to me - I thought it was awesome. You did
a real good job on this Joel. It's got a lot in it that you can look deeper
into. I really liked all the words and the flow, it was really good. I think
this is one of my favorites of what you've written. Thanks for posting it.
~Waos/Kara |
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Re: Break Your Neck
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 03:46:38 PM AEST
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joel, this is exquisite, beautifully written... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Break Your Neck
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 10:59:44 PM AEST
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| Excellent |
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Re: Break Your Neck
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 09:34:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i just had to read this poem again. it stuck out in my memory, and i see that it stuck out for good reason. freedom, i rather like rousseous idea of it. |
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