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Moon Ring
Contributed by
luinil
on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 08:18:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
ring around the moon
rain to follow soon
wash away my blood
loose unbidden flood
shadow hug the ground
silence crashing sound
meekly face the wall
fear who walks the hall
shiver when you wished it
wickedly untwisted
tongue impale the sun
evil this way run
Copyright ©
luinil
... [
2005-01-27 20:18:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Moon Ring
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 06:47:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The first stanza, has made me question, whether I am you, or perhaps, you, me?
I once wrote something along the lines....
"...Rich oxygenated blood
Split veins will -open, flood..."
"Silence crashing sound"
-An interesting description...
It is almost as if you have personified the entity of sound itself... "crashing"?
As well, you have fashioned, a rather favorable pun. A unique contrast, creating a diversity of tones....
A promising final stanza, as well as a punching last line.
A token of appreciation
-Romanticist.
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Re: Moon Ring
(User Rating: 1 )
by tres_estrellas on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 03:02:15 AM AEST
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| interesting |
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