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Waiting

Contributed by ruka on Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 04:19:05 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

lying in my bed listening to screams
listening to everyone criticize me
making fists trying to hold back my tears
my sanity is slipping away, insanity is near
a tear rolls down my cheek onto my neck
waiting for someone, waiting for...death
my sanity now lost, someone stole
now my rage is forever in control
they did this to me and caused me pain
by their scournful looks, and hurtful names
turn on my radio so they cant hear my screams
punching walls my hand starts to blee
now my hand hurts more then my heart
feels like my life is falling apart
lying on my bed catching my breath waiting for someone waiting for death
hearing them scream again and again
i stop listening to them but the voices in my head
i stopped crying... my eyes were drying
lying on my bed no need to catch my breath
no longer waiting cause alond came...DEATH

Copyright © ruka ... [ 2005-01-27 16:19:05]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Waiting (User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 04:22:56 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Ok,the subject is one that has been done half a million times..The whole angst type poem..Your punctuation here is off by a mile..Parts of it were very good but then it just sorta let me down in alot of it..You had much more you could have gone with ..But in the end it was a poem of a person angry at their parents or the world and closing their bedroom door.

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