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i want you....
Contributed by
visualizing_life
on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 09:35:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
i want you to hear me
i want you to feel my pain
i want you to understand
i want you to care
i want you to want to be around
i know you try and be there
but ya dont understand
and you dont at all
and for this im goin to have to break my heart again
im sorry for all the pain i caused
...for all your time i wasted
...for all the love i gave you,
something you didnt understand
...for all the times i should have let it go
or said i was sorry
with nothing left to say but i love you
and im sorry,
but i have to go now
please remember me when im gone
Copyright ©
visualizing_life
... [
2005-01-26 21:35:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: i want you....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 09:51:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| That's how I feel most the time... I think though it could have been a little better if you took advantage of language. You have a good basis and I think that it could be even better if you just play around with the words and try different things. But as far as topics I did like it, like I said I can totally relate. |
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Re: i want you....
(User Rating: 1 )
by tractorbabe on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 10:24:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
wow i dont know wat to say....its perfect..i think this is the best one of yours ive read....its just wow.....this is my favoret....the rythem the ryming...everything the meaning..its just perfect!!!!!
tractobabe |
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Re: i want you....
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueyes11 on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 12:10:55 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| not bad, a little simplistic for my tastes. i like poems that i have to read a few times over, or ponder until their meaning is unveiled. still, good start. keep writing |
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Re: i want you....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Poetic_Influence on
Wednesday, 25th January 2006 @ 04:50:46 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| very nice peice, |
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