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Hope
Contributed by
fielding88
on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 05:59:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
So many things have left me cold inside
That I haven’t a reason not to hide
Them deep inside, under lock and key,
Visible to nobody; visible to me.
The only problem that comes with this,
Is the entire life I will surely miss.
Trust so sacred to this dying heart
Has been scarcely seen, such a solemn art.
Only one more chance to turn things around
By a love I need, but has yet to be found.
This love, still faceless; yet to be seen,
Has lived her own life within my dreams.
Hope remains, but is fleeting fast,
She has little to no time left.
Days upon days have passed
And I’m still on guard, to avoid any theft
Of the things I hide from everyone,
In this way of life, I see no fun.
Little did I know Hope’s come and gone.
She was here while my focus was turned upon
My treasure, still under lock and key,
That treasure now remaining only for me.
My hope is gone, because of this life.
Its pierced my heart stronger than any knife.
Copyright ©
fielding88
... [
2005-01-26 17:59:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by redtempest13 on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 06:39:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very well written. A lot of feeling. |
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Re: Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 07:44:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i really liked this....there was so much power and emotion behind it....excellent work
Lots of Love
CrimsonTears |
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Re: Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 25th March 2005 @ 10:54:07 PM AEST
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| it is a tragedy that your work isnt as appreciated as it should be around here. you possess the talent, and writers who dont get more comments than you do. one of the evils of how things are i suppose. you already know i loved the poem, because it seems like i love everyone poem ive read by you. this tasted sweet too =] tata. |
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Re: Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 03:16:53 PM AEST
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Excellent words! I quite agree. And incidentally, the author's note is wise and moving in itself (the second excellent and moving author's note I have read today. Interesting). Thou speakest sooth, and with beguiling charme.
Andrew |
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Re: Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 03:10:35 PM AEST
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This was amazing Marc! Excellent work, my favorite of yours so far. Fantastic! The first stanza is my favorite, though I love it all.
Any criticism I could give is to maybe think up a different ending for the poem, the last two lines compared to the rest of the poem seem like you could've put more thought behind them. I haven't any ideas though, sorry.
Excellent poem!
--amanda-- |
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Re: Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 07:46:48 PM AEST
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This love, still faceless; yet to be seen,
Has lived her own life within my dreams
Awesomw lines! Man, I wish I'd written them. Well done indeed.
You are very honest and open about yourself on paper. A good trait for a good writer.
Take care.
David |
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