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In the early morning sunrise
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 01:49:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
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I silently watch the sun, as it rises over the land,
While my heart slowly freezes, touched by my own hand,
And the rays offer me no warmth, no happiness, no joy,
Ever since I took my heart, and let you have it as a toy.
And the birds all sing their early song, which only assaults my ears,
For I hear my own words intermingled, and my eyes shine forth new tears,
As I utter every curse word, and every single prayer,
To a god that never answers me, who I'm unsure is even there,
But no one else will listen, no one else will hear my cries,
As my heart is frozen solid in an early morning sunrise.
And the grass is crisp beneath me, as I walk myself away,
Blades lightly touched by shadow, just as I am today,
Because now I feel the memories, they infiltrate my mind,
As the wind whistles innocently, yet seems almost unkind.
And it seems the world is laughing, silently carried by the breeze,
But accompanied by music, as it swirls down through the trees,
And now, walking with the memories, the music and the sky,
I wander over to the place, where we became a lie.
And falling to my knees, I wonder if anyone hears my cries,
In the place my heart was frozen, in an early morning sunrise.
And I hug myself from the chill, which has crept into my veins,
And remember when it was your arms, which used to do the same,
But I know it was stolen away, one early morning filled with cries...
When my heart froze, while they echoed in the early morning sunrise..
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-01-26 13:49:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 02:15:34 PM AEST
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| wow philly girl this piece of writing is beautiful.awsome . |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 02:22:52 PM AEST
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| superb! i'll look out for more of your work. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 02:34:36 PM AEST
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Phil, there's not words on how to describe how i feel with you're poem.
It's like you wrote what im actually feeling right now in this time of my life.
You have writen this so perfectly and beautifly that im actually having tears in my eyes as i read it.
Good write and thanks for posting this.
*Hugs*
Jane x |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by juliette on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 02:37:18 PM AEST
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This is so beautiful! It is the best work I have read in a long time. I don't even know what else to say - except that this is a perfect write!
Thanks for sharing!
juliette |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by valek on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 02:38:44 PM AEST
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| insanely wonderful poem, i loved every line -valek- |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 02:48:29 PM AEST
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| I'm crying and couldn't really read all of it..but I did read about the birds and though how I hate to wake up and hear them chirpping in the morning and who gives them the right to be cheerful when I'm not?? witless little twits..I'll read the rest later..promise.. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 10:34:51 AM AEST
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wow now this is a masterpeice.
I think most everyone can relate to this.
Sometimes god doesn't answer our prayers 'cause he does things very mysteriously and we may be asking for something that isn't good for us. he really wants us to jus trust him. That's all expects from us.
keep writing.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy
We all fall on our knees from time to time, except maybe atheist. Nuthing against them intended jus a comaprison. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 12:23:09 PM AEST
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Oh Phil...hug...wonderful and sad.
I could picture it, each line the images flowing, and the sadness and cold crept into MY veins!
Again...just wonderful!! |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 07:32:46 AM AEST
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Phil, This is your masterpiece. I don't think you've ever expressed yourself so clearly or so beautifully.
Stitch |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
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by Willofree on
Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 11:45:57 AM AEST
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An amazing and apparently an inspired write. A absolutely beautiful poem. Very profound, and something most all can relate to.
Thanks for sharing
Willofree |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 06:18:02 PM AEST
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Beautiful, beautiful, my friend. The nature imagery is wonderful, and the whole feel of the piece. I wish you didn't feel this sadness, but I'm glad that it can find expression in such a good way.
Blessings.
Andrew |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 09:36:58 AM AEST
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| WOW! Such an awsome poem. IT captures every emotion so well. Nicly done. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 11:53:54 AM AEST
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that really blew me away wow Philly woo, I really missed your poems *hugs*
loadsa love
pix xx |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 01:38:14 PM AEST
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A really excellent write. Good word usage.
Whisper |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
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by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 01:57:30 PM AEST
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an absolutely a gorgeous, beautifully written poem that goes *offscale* ...exquisite:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 02:23:33 PM AEST
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| yeah..those memories..nice write. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 01:58:19 AM AEST
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Such beautiful images...
Deep feelings expressed vividly-
a great read.
Thanks for sharing this. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 01:17:17 AM AEST
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Well, I read this, re-read it... read it again ---- and ran straight to the Best Poem of the Day forum. Came back... read it again... and finally think I'm maybe ready to have a go at commenting.
Well, hunni --- I know you know that I can understand this (just as you did mine)... and for that reason "where we become a lie" tears me wide open. This is an extraordinary piece... I don't think I've yet seen anyone express THAT particular feeling (and the melancholy that comes with it) so well. But this is more than that... Geez - I feel like you somehow managed to say what has taken me a couple dozen poems and several months to express (and... I'm not so sure that I've been as complete even for the volume).
I don't have words enough for this, Philly. You are shining here. This, hun - is your moment... and gosh, how you've embraced it! I am incredibly proud of you --- for this, and for everything that brought it to the page.
So completely in love with this,
~Snemmy~ |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
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by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 07:15:52 AM AEST
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Trust me to be pedantic enough to pick out the one line that doesn't flow with the current of this rather eloquent river . . .
"As the wind whistles innocently, but seeming almost unkind."
The changes I'd suggest would be 'but' to 'yet' and 'seeming' to 'seems'. And that's it.
Almost not worth pointing it out, except for the fact that its the only imperfection there, and thus stands out to me against the irradiant background.
Glad I've read it, though.
You're improving significantly with every write.
Keep it up. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bleeding_Nightmares on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 10:59:17 AM AEST
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| Vivid pictures painted, excellent poem. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 11:44:01 AM AEST
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And the birds all sing their early song, which only assaults my ears,
yep...I know about them birds.. lol. when you feel sad or gloomy..LOL get out the light saber.. nice write |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 09:30:57 AM AEST
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Inspirational and beautiful. I think i'm speechless once again.
Take Care
- Becca |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by UnlovedChild on
Friday, 25th March 2005 @ 05:51:53 PM AEST
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| Beautifully amazing poem. |
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Re: In the early morning sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by MsCrys on
Thursday, 6th July 2006 @ 06:28:08 PM AEST
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I am completely blown away by your talent. I had to hold back the tears from flowing as I didn't want to have my read interupted by my lovely children, with a kind "Mommy, what's wrong?". Amazing, amazing work. I will definitely be looking for more from you in the future. Exceptional. :)
~*MsCrys*~ |
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