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Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 12:23:35 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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She tumbled from the sky that night
White washed and too familiar
Holding cotton candy dreams
In her hand
Timidly, she set down
And begged the earth
To take her in
Even then
Her heart just wouldn’t
Let go
The sky
***
(She could still hear the echoes
Apple pie lies and emptiness
Hopeless, she couldn't bear to listen)
***
She convinced herself not to cry
Wanted but unacceptable now
Rejecting the memories that
Lingered behind
She smiled, as the night
Breathed her in
Just when
A single stubborn tear
Fell from
Her eye
And I....
I wasn't brave enough to ask her why.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-01-26 00:23:35] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 12:29:08 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like the images you present here. Blessings. |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 01:06:47 AM AEST (User
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This is a very good write even tho a bit sad in the same sense it's beautifull.
Awesomely creative.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 03:04:56 AM AEST (User
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A very poetic write, creativly writen and composed too.
The beauty of the poem with it's sadness speaks volumes that i really adimire in this work.
Great write Snemmy
Jane x |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 09:25:31 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Such agony........
realizing the dreams wont come true,
then replacing them with....nothingness.
Eventually, you will HAVE to ask her why.
Even if that wasnt your meaning here,
it struck me this way and hit........
hard
an exceptional write
Roses
Larry
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 01:10:45 PM AEST (User
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Oh hunni...
The last line..Boom! It struck me right through the heart..
I hope whatever you are searching for, whatever it is you wish, is yours soon..
*hugs you tons*
Phil xxx
(Who is always here if you need me) |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 02:26:56 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Time will eventually take care of things, till the pain and timidness is just a memory of an echo, still hurting, but no longer preventing you from going on.
I'm wishing you strength.
Wonderfully expressive this! |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 05:21:16 PM AEST (User
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Now, I think I can understand and relate to this more than anything you've ever written. On top of that, I love it! I love what you do with words and images. Of course, I love the brevity of this. I can't help that.
Stitch |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Nazmythian on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 05:14:26 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Forgive me ... I had to ask ...
I wonder if there might be times the wolf itself could cry
and the sheep all gather round about, contemplating why.
( deep breath ) if so ... yeah, ... I get it
Nazmythian ~
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Tanmaya on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 01:46:20 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great images created here.
A deep loneliness is etched in it...
beautifully composed poem.
'And begged the earth
To take her in
Even then
Her heart just wouldn’t
Let go
The sky'
...meaningful and intense.
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Saturday, 5th February 2005 @ 06:58:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow... amazing |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by UnlovedChild on
Saturday, 26th March 2005 @ 04:00:20 PM AEST (User
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This poem was absolutely amazing, with a very touching and strong ending. |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by freckle on
Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 10:32:15 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great write Snemmy...I love the line....
A single stubborn tear
Fell from
Her eye
I've been there....thanks for sharing this one...
Carol |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by secretwind on
Thursday, 12th May 2005 @ 10:40:53 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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what could I possibly say that wasn't said
beautifully sad.... |
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by girltranscended on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 08:12:07 PM AEST (User
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Now this captures me quite personally as you can well imagine - or so guess now that I say so. I love cotton candy. The most amazing lines of this to me are:
Timidly, she set down
And begged the earth
To take her in
Even then
Her heart just wouldn’t
Let go
The sky
Really, really a billion times amazingly well said. And the "undermessage" oh,.......
oh,.................
so very much I could say but Hell that'd be puttin' it ALL out there. So, yeah, I'm just like this poem. And I loved it for so many reasons.
*who knows what is sad to some is solace to others
:)
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th June 2006 @ 02:37:34 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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For the pass few days now, it seems I have been on the verge of insanity. Emotional disaster; reality calamity.
This poem touched me somehow and has me all teary eyed and stuff.....lump in the throat, etc. It either is that powerful with emotion or I'm nuts. I think it's the poem though. So powerful with emotion. I should probably come back in a year or two and read it again.
Timbo
(who damn well knows you're an amazing writer but I am feeling a bit crazy as of late....but not that crazy to know when I see something great)
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Re: Intentionally Untitled (for my sanity)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 11th January 2009 @ 06:15:34 PM AEST (User
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How our paths, even though they may be different, draw such parallels. This one still chokes me up. |
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