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Trade
Contributed by
fielding88
on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 02:33:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I lived my life in the smallest way,
Leaving so much more to say,
But words and actions I tried so hard to hide,
The feelings in me that wouldn’t subside,
Were traded to another,
For I could not stand
To go day to day without holding her hand.
I couldn’t take the pain
Of the life that I disdain.
The problems I bore unwillingly
Would be thrown away the first chance I’d see,
But to my shock the one I’d adore
Would see into my very core,
And the problems that made up my life,
Were traded in return of my future wife’s.
The sufferings in life that I endured
Were suffered alone, never reassured
That one just like me would suffer the same,
That one just like me would also blame
Themselves, the world, for their state of mind,
Never interacting with someone kind.
But I gave her my pain,
And she gave me her own,
A new life to gain
After two parties had shown
Our faults, our differences,
Now hidden to neither one,
And the love we now shared
Meant our suffering was done.
Copyright ©
fielding88
... [
2005-01-23 14:33:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Trade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 03:04:19 PM AEST
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| wounderful work of a poem.keep up the good work. |
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Re: Trade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 03:36:12 PM AEST
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| This is an interesting story which seems to show some wisdom gained. Very nice! Blessings. |
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Re: Trade
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 04:14:07 PM AEST
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lived my life in the smallest way,
Leaving so much more to say,
this is a really nice line..it says a lot. |
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Re: Trade
(User Rating: 1 )
by juliette on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 05:26:10 PM AEST
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This is so good - honestly a little rough around the edges, but that's not a bad thing. The whole concept of the "trading" of pain and love just way drew me in and I can so feel this poem. Great write! Thanks for sharing!
juliette |
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Re: Trade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 09:04:36 PM AEST
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| =] este era un dulce. this was a sweet(as in candy). lol, hows that for a spanish phrase? i loved the meaning and concept most of all. especially in the beginning as it went along it seemed less like me though. ::pout:: everything should be about moi =] lol ::throws in two more languages:: unt kiene eier. no more eggs. i am baka. foolish. =] lets see we have spanish, english, french, german, and japanese. this is a cultured comment. lol |
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Re: Trade
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 02:46:18 PM AEST
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Very, very nice write. Emotional with lots of meaning- just the way I like it. There were so many amazing lines in here that were very admirable, the ending was absolutely beautiful. Every line of it left butterflies in my stomach, this was another beautiful write Marc.
Well done,
--amanda-- |
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