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In the Rain
Contributed by
fielding88
on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 12:59:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
You leave me here,
Out in the rain.
Leave my emotions bare,
I’m alone with my pain.
I have the upper hand.
I know myself too well.
I’ve become my own man
And there’s too much of me to tell.
How can you punish me?
I’ve suffered far too much
To feel an injury,
And so I’ve had to clutch
Onto a glimmer of hope,
Onto a glimmer of faith,
That after all I’d cope with
I wouldn’t be too late.
Would I miss life now?
Have you sealed my fate?
When you left me here
Would it be too late?
Could I live life before?
Have I lived even more?
Has your anger bettered me
In a way you cannot see?
I’ve been standing in the rain so long.
The feelings growing, now so strong.
You have no power in any form,
Or seen the beauty of this storm.
I’ve come to know the happiness
That comes from faith; its seeming bliss.
You haven’t come to know the rain
And the sunlight it brought to cleanse my pain.
Copyright ©
fielding88
... [
2005-01-22 12:59:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 01:14:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The title drew me in as I love rain, of course.
I was not disappointed.
This seems to flow just as you've described and it's a quaint little poem.
I enjoyed it.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: In the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 09:15:50 PM AEST
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| well written InnerVision |
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Re: In the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 08:02:54 PM AEST
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| great poem all in all but a bit too repetitious with the "onto a glimmer of" and too many questions in the third stanza. having them spaced out would have been better. but i loved the ending. and isnt it odd how i hate sunlight... |
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Re: In the Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 02:12:40 PM AEST
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This was beautifully written Marc, I really enjoyed it. You have your own style in writing, as well as talent, keep it up. I think the repitition of 'on to a glimmer' was alright, you could have changed one of them to something else like "on to a shread" (just an ex.) The questions in the third stanza were alright too since you did it through out the whole stanza I think if you didn't put questionmarks though and left it as thoughts it would be more acceptable in essentially9's eyes.
The ending was excellent as usual.
Overall this was a wonderful piece.. I'm going to have to stop saying their my favorites cause everytime I read another one of your poems I fall in love.. so I'll just stick to saying Great work, and please, keep it up!
--amanda-- |
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